SOUL FRACTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soul fractures are more common than the routine injuries and almost all of us must have experienced them at various stages of life,in varying intensities.To treat them too,is a more difficult task than to tackle the routine bony injuries.Though the common notion is to relate to a soul fracture being caused by a lover, it may be from any soul mate. Such a breach in relationships may be from spouses,siblings,parents,children,friends,teachers, students or anyone for that matter.This is one ailment where the good old proverb of - prevention better than cure,is most aptly suited.I suggest the following to prevent heartbreaks or soul fractures in any relationship .
Add meaning to every relationship--don't have a relationship for the sake of social commitment.Make friends in relatives and make relatives in friends
Give time - let the relationship grow,love at first sight usually happens only in movies and novels
Never take someone for granted
Breathing space - give the other person adequate privacy and time for personal life
Be a friend - don't go looking for a friend ,be one and the world will be full of friends
Shed off load - don't carry the burden of dying relationships End them if they are not viable
Work on them - one has to keep working on every relationship to keep it alive,or it will not last for long
Be expressive - communication and expression of love and emotions is mandatory for the sustenance of any relationship
Be prepared - no relationship is beyond the danger of souring so go all out to nurture it
Acceptance - accept your friend as it is with minimal changes,if you want to be accepted,Basic temperament of a person cannot changed
Give all your love to all your relationships to prevent your soul from being fractured
Sanjay Kapoor
Sunday, August 31, 2008
AIDS CONTROL IN INDIA
BOOK WITH A MISSION !!!!!!!!!!!!
AIDS Sutra-Untold stories From India,is a compilation of 14 essays/stories to highlight the unimaginable epidemic of AIDS and the suffering of those affected by it in our country.Having read two of these fourteen,I was really touched by the realism of the presentation and reading about the AIDS victims,specially the plight of sex-workers in India was not surprising but actually shameful and shocking
The three groups most vulnerable to these diseases are the sexworkers,trans-sexuals (hijras) and homosexuals.
The common factor for all of them is unprotected sex with multiple partners and the root cause for this,is most cases is the society
Most of the commercial sex-workers are forced into flesh trade due to financial compulsions and are inducted into this at a stage or age when they cannot take a decision,and without consent. It is the onus of the parents,society,NGOs,social workers and the government to come forward to their rescue
Parents who cannot afford to bring up a female child due to poverty should try to find a job for them, after the age of 14.There is a great need of maids,domestic help and baby-sitters in the society today.This is a much better alternative for girls and women being forced to prostitution.They can look forward to a more dignified and respectable living in this situation.
Its tragic that the existence of the sexworkers cannot be eradicated,but we can all contribute in decreasing this menace and the plight,The government and all concerned should put in all endeavors to atleast minimize the number of sexworkers,improve their living standards,prevent their exploitation and to extend them adequate medical cover,Schemes for rehabilitation of sex-workers is mandatory,too
The hijras too,resort to sex for a livelihood,and hence all efforts should be made to provide them opportunities for jobs or self employment.A reservation in job vacancies for trans-sexuals may be a highly beneficial move,to provide them with job opportunities
Most of the homosexuals indulge in sex with multiple partners usually out of desperation,as the family,society and the Government denies them the choice for a long term relationship,leave alone marriage.Acceptance by society and relaxation of laws for encouraging this,are the need of the hour to increase the practice of monogamy in homosexuals
We should not forget that AIDS patients are the main source of the spreading epidemic of AIDS and hence helping them is actually helping the society and the mankind in general.I just hope that the cries of AIDS victims and the plight of those prone to be affected by this deadly disease,echoes through this book to shatter the deafness of the government and to break the slumber of the society to fight this killer demon of AIDS!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
AIDS Sutra-Untold stories From India,is a compilation of 14 essays/stories to highlight the unimaginable epidemic of AIDS and the suffering of those affected by it in our country.Having read two of these fourteen,I was really touched by the realism of the presentation and reading about the AIDS victims,specially the plight of sex-workers in India was not surprising but actually shameful and shocking
The three groups most vulnerable to these diseases are the sexworkers,trans-sexuals (hijras) and homosexuals.
The common factor for all of them is unprotected sex with multiple partners and the root cause for this,is most cases is the society
Most of the commercial sex-workers are forced into flesh trade due to financial compulsions and are inducted into this at a stage or age when they cannot take a decision,and without consent. It is the onus of the parents,society,NGOs,social workers and the government to come forward to their rescue
Parents who cannot afford to bring up a female child due to poverty should try to find a job for them, after the age of 14.There is a great need of maids,domestic help and baby-sitters in the society today.This is a much better alternative for girls and women being forced to prostitution.They can look forward to a more dignified and respectable living in this situation.
Its tragic that the existence of the sexworkers cannot be eradicated,but we can all contribute in decreasing this menace and the plight,The government and all concerned should put in all endeavors to atleast minimize the number of sexworkers,improve their living standards,prevent their exploitation and to extend them adequate medical cover,Schemes for rehabilitation of sex-workers is mandatory,too
The hijras too,resort to sex for a livelihood,and hence all efforts should be made to provide them opportunities for jobs or self employment.A reservation in job vacancies for trans-sexuals may be a highly beneficial move,to provide them with job opportunities
Most of the homosexuals indulge in sex with multiple partners usually out of desperation,as the family,society and the Government denies them the choice for a long term relationship,leave alone marriage.Acceptance by society and relaxation of laws for encouraging this,are the need of the hour to increase the practice of monogamy in homosexuals
We should not forget that AIDS patients are the main source of the spreading epidemic of AIDS and hence helping them is actually helping the society and the mankind in general.I just hope that the cries of AIDS victims and the plight of those prone to be affected by this deadly disease,echoes through this book to shatter the deafness of the government and to break the slumber of the society to fight this killer demon of AIDS!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
GAY MOVEMENT IN INDIA
Long way to go !!!!!!!!!!!
Its a bit too early to celebrate the cause of gays and lesbians in attaining an identity in India.
The recent Gay Parade held at Mumbai,in quick succession after the successful one held at Delhi sometime back,was successful too,but not as it was expected
It had more of fanfare than the cause,and this is the fear for such events in future too.
The cause of creating an awareness about the rights of gays,should not get diluted by the glamour show !
The battle should not become more important than the goal !!
The Gay parade should not become carnivals and above all the darkness around the gays should not get overshadowed by the presence of glitterati!!!!
The biggest surprise is to see that Homosexuals(gays) and transsexuals(Hijras) are clubbed together as MSM(men having sex with men) but the fact is that these two are two separate groups and have different problems.While the homosexuals need just an identity to their sexuality,the transsexuals needs an identity to their every existence!
Hijras are physically and anatomically different,and have no alternative but to have sex with men,and most get into the flesh trade,out of desperation,to earn a living.Their problem is an identity and they have to be brought to the main stream line,with opportunities for education and jobs and above all inclusion in the society as common citizen,with ration cards,voters identity etc.Its high time the application forms for everything ,has three squares under the sex column,M/F/T
The homosexuals on the other hand are fightening for an identity and acceptance of their sexuality,but the sexuality of a person cannot be his only identity.Gays are present everywhere,be it Delhi,Kolkuta,Mumbai or any place of the country,and are found in all strata of the society somewhere hidden and somewhere exposed.Homosexuals are seen in all spheres of life now,in colleges and at work,and many of them are doing very well in their fields of work,and are recognized well,nationally and even internationally.What they are fighting for,is the law to accept their sexuality as legal.
In spite of the recent encouraging remarks towards this,from the health minister,this may be a distant dream,and actually it is not the first but the last step in the battle of gays for their struggle for a receptacle existence
The aim should not just be of unmasking the sexuality,but to achieve acceptance.
The violent reactions to gay movements and activities ,may have decreased or even ceased but these are no indicators to their social acceptance.
It is the families and society which has to accept them.They have to realize that these are just variants of sexuality,and not perversions ,and in majority of cases ,the attitude is genetically decided,and is well beyond the control of the individual.
and above all it is the gays who have to accept themselves,and come forward to live their lives at their terms,as any other responsible citizen of the country,rather than making their sexuality as their identity and the main bone of contention
S Kapoor Lucknow
Its a bit too early to celebrate the cause of gays and lesbians in attaining an identity in India.
The recent Gay Parade held at Mumbai,in quick succession after the successful one held at Delhi sometime back,was successful too,but not as it was expected
It had more of fanfare than the cause,and this is the fear for such events in future too.
The cause of creating an awareness about the rights of gays,should not get diluted by the glamour show !
The battle should not become more important than the goal !!
The Gay parade should not become carnivals and above all the darkness around the gays should not get overshadowed by the presence of glitterati!!!!
The biggest surprise is to see that Homosexuals(gays) and transsexuals(Hijras) are clubbed together as MSM(men having sex with men) but the fact is that these two are two separate groups and have different problems.While the homosexuals need just an identity to their sexuality,the transsexuals needs an identity to their every existence!
Hijras are physically and anatomically different,and have no alternative but to have sex with men,and most get into the flesh trade,out of desperation,to earn a living.Their problem is an identity and they have to be brought to the main stream line,with opportunities for education and jobs and above all inclusion in the society as common citizen,with ration cards,voters identity etc.Its high time the application forms for everything ,has three squares under the sex column,M/F/T
The homosexuals on the other hand are fightening for an identity and acceptance of their sexuality,but the sexuality of a person cannot be his only identity.Gays are present everywhere,be it Delhi,Kolkuta,Mumbai or any place of the country,and are found in all strata of the society somewhere hidden and somewhere exposed.Homosexuals are seen in all spheres of life now,in colleges and at work,and many of them are doing very well in their fields of work,and are recognized well,nationally and even internationally.What they are fighting for,is the law to accept their sexuality as legal.
In spite of the recent encouraging remarks towards this,from the health minister,this may be a distant dream,and actually it is not the first but the last step in the battle of gays for their struggle for a receptacle existence
The aim should not just be of unmasking the sexuality,but to achieve acceptance.
The violent reactions to gay movements and activities ,may have decreased or even ceased but these are no indicators to their social acceptance.
It is the families and society which has to accept them.They have to realize that these are just variants of sexuality,and not perversions ,and in majority of cases ,the attitude is genetically decided,and is well beyond the control of the individual.
and above all it is the gays who have to accept themselves,and come forward to live their lives at their terms,as any other responsible citizen of the country,rather than making their sexuality as their identity and the main bone of contention
S Kapoor Lucknow
SHOULD WE LET KASHMIR GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR GOD'S SAKE SPARE THE GOD!!!!!!!!
The Amarnath shrine land issue,is unnecessarily being blamed as the bone of contention,between the Hindus and Muslims of the valley or rather between Kashmir and India!The shrine is just being made a scapegoat by the Kashmiri Muslims to went their undying desire of freedom from India!! This is probably the last nail in the coffin of relationship between,India and Kashmir,and this very statement sounds as if Kashmir is not a part of the country. The issue however,is nether the land,nor the Hindu shrine,but AZADI !
And this azadi is,less as a freedom from the so called step treatment of unfair India,but more of an overambitious desire to live independently.The root cause of this cannot be identified or pin pointed,as there are three processes working simultaneously towards a so called similar goal.Firstly the Pakistani forces,which are still thirsty for the revenge of partition and want to acquire Kashmir back.Secondly Pakistan again trying to break Kashmir away from India,as a revenge of Indias role in the independence of Bangladesh,and thirdly the struggle of Kashmiris who want to be azad from India.
These two agencies are working hand and glove.The local population may be helping the outside terrorists in their attacks,and the outsiders are be sustaining the struggle for kashmiris in their battle of independence.But,surprisingly the goals are different,Pakistan may have the distant dream of taking kashmir,but most of kashmir has the determinant desire of being independent,and may be even acquire back the POK,and such sleeping with the enemy situations are eventually self destructive and fatal!!!!!!!!!!!!.
While Kashmiris,considering themselves Indians may be counted on finger tips,the number keen to attain Pakistani citizenship,is not bigger either.Majority of the Kashmiri is just a Kashmiri at heart
The normal life of a civil war or local insurgency is usually a decade,but in Kashmir the fire is alive since almost two decades.It was 18th Nov 1989,when the insurgency started in Kashmir,and since then the snow clad mountains of the most beautiful land of the world,have been painted red by the blood of innumerable people,mostly innocent and including a large number of woman and children.The Khalistan movement was as bad and strong,if not worse,but died its natural death,since the masses were not with the agitators,but here it is a movement of the complete Kashmir
Having spent almost four years,in the valley,in the thick of insurgency,treating the casualties,I have had the opportunity to interact with the Pakistani terrorist,foreign missionaries,local agitators and the common kashmiri,The Pakistani terrorist is in a trance in the name of Jihad,the missionaries are on a payrole,the local kashmiri militant a freedom fighter and the common man just fed up.
But it is this fed up common man,who is playing the strongest silent role in keeping this battle alive.The common man neither wants India to win,nor Pakistan to succeed,but wants a free Kashmir
The threat to become part of Pakistan and the march to Muzzafarabad are just kiddish acts,as in school we would often exchange tiffins with our best friends enemy,just to tease him,when we were not on good terms,temporarily or permanently.And the green flags are again no indicators of love for our dear neighbor,but the show of Islam against Hinduism(read Kashmir against India)
What has been the cause for this,one cannot say.Weather it is the mistake of partition,the poor governance of center,the support of Pakistan,the demographic barrier,the exploitation of the poor Muslim craftsmen by the rich Kashmiri pundits,the will of separatists or the over confidence of belief in to be able to survive independently. The geographical bottle neck of Jawahar Tunnel has proved to be a great culprit,preventing the Kashmiris to mingle with the rest of India.Kashmiris generally form the least number of friends , neighbors and collogues we can think of,compared to those from any other state,and may be even from Nepal or foreign countries.This scenario has isolated the Kashmiri, physically and emotionally forcing him to think of only AZAD KASHMIR!
And this too,when Kashmir in spite of all allegations,still is one of the most and the only privileged state,where,with the support of the central and state government,there are no beggars,no one without a house,no house without electricity and even subsidized electricity and food.
Letting Kashmir go,besides being painful emotionally,would mean loss of tourist destinations and fruit orchards,but the later are available at other states too.It may give impetus to freedom struggle of the eastern states and may re kindle the fire of Khalistan movement,but all these may be handled.but to keep the bodies of people by force under the tricolor ,when their heart,mind and soul is yearning for freedom,or is already free,would not only be difficult,but even impossible and may be unfair ! So we should just let Kashmir go! Free it from India,and lets give it a chance to fly and feed and fend for itself,if it can,without India,whose years of support has failed to win their hearts,or of Pakistan which cannot sustain itself !!
I say this with a heavy heart,just as I often take the hated decision,as a surgeon,of amputing a dead or dying part of the body of my patient,where the cruel kindness of my knife may save a life,by sacrificing a limb
Dr Sanjay Kapoor lucknow
The Amarnath shrine land issue,is unnecessarily being blamed as the bone of contention,between the Hindus and Muslims of the valley or rather between Kashmir and India!The shrine is just being made a scapegoat by the Kashmiri Muslims to went their undying desire of freedom from India!! This is probably the last nail in the coffin of relationship between,India and Kashmir,and this very statement sounds as if Kashmir is not a part of the country. The issue however,is nether the land,nor the Hindu shrine,but AZADI !
And this azadi is,less as a freedom from the so called step treatment of unfair India,but more of an overambitious desire to live independently.The root cause of this cannot be identified or pin pointed,as there are three processes working simultaneously towards a so called similar goal.Firstly the Pakistani forces,which are still thirsty for the revenge of partition and want to acquire Kashmir back.Secondly Pakistan again trying to break Kashmir away from India,as a revenge of Indias role in the independence of Bangladesh,and thirdly the struggle of Kashmiris who want to be azad from India.
These two agencies are working hand and glove.The local population may be helping the outside terrorists in their attacks,and the outsiders are be sustaining the struggle for kashmiris in their battle of independence.But,surprisingly the goals are different,Pakistan may have the distant dream of taking kashmir,but most of kashmir has the determinant desire of being independent,and may be even acquire back the POK,and such sleeping with the enemy situations are eventually self destructive and fatal!!!!!!!!!!!!.
While Kashmiris,considering themselves Indians may be counted on finger tips,the number keen to attain Pakistani citizenship,is not bigger either.Majority of the Kashmiri is just a Kashmiri at heart
The normal life of a civil war or local insurgency is usually a decade,but in Kashmir the fire is alive since almost two decades.It was 18th Nov 1989,when the insurgency started in Kashmir,and since then the snow clad mountains of the most beautiful land of the world,have been painted red by the blood of innumerable people,mostly innocent and including a large number of woman and children.The Khalistan movement was as bad and strong,if not worse,but died its natural death,since the masses were not with the agitators,but here it is a movement of the complete Kashmir
Having spent almost four years,in the valley,in the thick of insurgency,treating the casualties,I have had the opportunity to interact with the Pakistani terrorist,foreign missionaries,local agitators and the common kashmiri,The Pakistani terrorist is in a trance in the name of Jihad,the missionaries are on a payrole,the local kashmiri militant a freedom fighter and the common man just fed up.
But it is this fed up common man,who is playing the strongest silent role in keeping this battle alive.The common man neither wants India to win,nor Pakistan to succeed,but wants a free Kashmir
The threat to become part of Pakistan and the march to Muzzafarabad are just kiddish acts,as in school we would often exchange tiffins with our best friends enemy,just to tease him,when we were not on good terms,temporarily or permanently.And the green flags are again no indicators of love for our dear neighbor,but the show of Islam against Hinduism(read Kashmir against India)
What has been the cause for this,one cannot say.Weather it is the mistake of partition,the poor governance of center,the support of Pakistan,the demographic barrier,the exploitation of the poor Muslim craftsmen by the rich Kashmiri pundits,the will of separatists or the over confidence of belief in to be able to survive independently. The geographical bottle neck of Jawahar Tunnel has proved to be a great culprit,preventing the Kashmiris to mingle with the rest of India.Kashmiris generally form the least number of friends , neighbors and collogues we can think of,compared to those from any other state,and may be even from Nepal or foreign countries.This scenario has isolated the Kashmiri, physically and emotionally forcing him to think of only AZAD KASHMIR!
And this too,when Kashmir in spite of all allegations,still is one of the most and the only privileged state,where,with the support of the central and state government,there are no beggars,no one without a house,no house without electricity and even subsidized electricity and food.
Letting Kashmir go,besides being painful emotionally,would mean loss of tourist destinations and fruit orchards,but the later are available at other states too.It may give impetus to freedom struggle of the eastern states and may re kindle the fire of Khalistan movement,but all these may be handled.but to keep the bodies of people by force under the tricolor ,when their heart,mind and soul is yearning for freedom,or is already free,would not only be difficult,but even impossible and may be unfair ! So we should just let Kashmir go! Free it from India,and lets give it a chance to fly and feed and fend for itself,if it can,without India,whose years of support has failed to win their hearts,or of Pakistan which cannot sustain itself !!
I say this with a heavy heart,just as I often take the hated decision,as a surgeon,of amputing a dead or dying part of the body of my patient,where the cruel kindness of my knife may save a life,by sacrificing a limb
Dr Sanjay Kapoor lucknow
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