THE MALE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am surprised and disagree with the inclusion of Guys and Skin Show,in the list of odd couples in the latest issue THE WEEK,with a cover story on Odd Covers!By doing so,we sem to be going against Gender Equality!
If the men get their share of entertainment with sizzling Suzis setting the screen on fire,why should the woman be deprived of seeing their favorite heroes bare chested or better still,draped in a slippery towel???????????
Aren't Playgirl magazines as popular as Playboys?
And aren't the Feminas and Cosmopolitans as vivid a guide as Kamasutra itself??
Though the cabarets are on the decline and the dance bars closed,Kitty parties with full Monty are quite in vogue,specially in Mumbai!
If woman can do all what men do,why cant the actors do hot items numbers like their female co stars?
And that's exactly what Salman,Sharukh ,Ranbeer and others are doing,and are doing it damn well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
SEX EDUCATION
Sex Education is the need of the hour !
Though its an age of sexplosion,where sex has entered every phase of life,from books to magazines,TV to cinema,music to internet and even in the common lingo,true knowledge of sex amongst kids and youngsters is far from adequate,and infact abysmal
(Lets talk About Sex Education-STOI,21 Dec,2008)
There is a significant lack of sexual awareness,even about the basic essentials like,the anatomy,physiology,sexual changes,sexuality,reproduction and contraception,and shockingly this is not only amongst the children of the rural background,but even amongst the educated,gown -ups,marriageable or even married people,who have access to all the books,literature and the net
And we all are to be blamed for this,as we cannot decide the extent,to which the children are to be made aware of issues pertaining to sex.And we are still debating on issues like,what has to be told to whom,when and by whom!
When denied adequate information,the child,out of sheer curiosity or need,resorts to whatever means available,to obtain sex knowledge The various avenues of information available to the child,are pornographic literature,friends and internet,which at most times are far from adequate or satisfactory. And it is this incomplete and superficial knowledge, that is more dangerous as ignorance or inadequate knowledge leads to more problems.And that is what most of the teenagers or even youngsters have today
Sex education is the need of the hour,and the best people to impart it are parents,teachers or elder family members of the same generation,but has to be done judiciously and cautiously As it is very important to decide, what has to be told, when.
Sex education has to be phased and timed in a manner to enable the child to handle his or her sexuality without anxieties and without getting carried away by the information available on the net or from pornographic literature,and to discourage them from premature experimentation
Since charity begins at home,it hence becomes imperative for us as parents, to impart sufficient and timely sex-education to our children to enable them to handle their sexuality carefully and to be able to take the correct decision at the correct time
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Though its an age of sexplosion,where sex has entered every phase of life,from books to magazines,TV to cinema,music to internet and even in the common lingo,true knowledge of sex amongst kids and youngsters is far from adequate,and infact abysmal
(Lets talk About Sex Education-STOI,21 Dec,2008)
There is a significant lack of sexual awareness,even about the basic essentials like,the anatomy,physiology,sexual changes,sexuality,reproduction and contraception,and shockingly this is not only amongst the children of the rural background,but even amongst the educated,gown -ups,marriageable or even married people,who have access to all the books,literature and the net
And we all are to be blamed for this,as we cannot decide the extent,to which the children are to be made aware of issues pertaining to sex.And we are still debating on issues like,what has to be told to whom,when and by whom!
When denied adequate information,the child,out of sheer curiosity or need,resorts to whatever means available,to obtain sex knowledge The various avenues of information available to the child,are pornographic literature,friends and internet,which at most times are far from adequate or satisfactory. And it is this incomplete and superficial knowledge, that is more dangerous as ignorance or inadequate knowledge leads to more problems.And that is what most of the teenagers or even youngsters have today
Sex education is the need of the hour,and the best people to impart it are parents,teachers or elder family members of the same generation,but has to be done judiciously and cautiously As it is very important to decide, what has to be told, when.
Sex education has to be phased and timed in a manner to enable the child to handle his or her sexuality without anxieties and without getting carried away by the information available on the net or from pornographic literature,and to discourage them from premature experimentation
Since charity begins at home,it hence becomes imperative for us as parents, to impart sufficient and timely sex-education to our children to enable them to handle their sexuality carefully and to be able to take the correct decision at the correct time
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Saturday, December 20, 2008
MALE SENSITIVITY
TOO HARSH ON MEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I totally disagree with Shobha De's unwarranted accusation that men personalize crisis . . . and always think about themselves and about their immediate priorities! (The Sexes-THE WEEK,Dec 21,2008)
Being a great admirer of women,I cannot undermine the sincerity and concern of a lady,but saying that men are insensitive to happenings around them,is absolutely baseless.They may have their own ways of expressing,or showing concern,and may even not express it,but they definitely do not lack the sensitivity to any crisis,small or big! If getting into convulsive shrieks or hysterical reactions is being sensitive,then Sorry!,we,the men are not party to it.Men may continue doing whatever they are doing,be it a discussion,watching TV,having a drink or doing anything for that matter,but the concern is always there,and the necessary action that has to be taken,is taken too,but at the appropriate time ,subtly and without a press release of it !
Discussing the same issue repeatedly,does not increase the intensity of concern,and making irrelevant statements,often undermines the gravity of the crisis.If repeating When will this jam move? When will the flight come?? Kitni mehngai ho gai hai!!! LPG prices are up again!!!! Just see the petrol price!!!!! ( last one may not be used for sometime) and many such statements ,at a predictably irritating frequency,could solve the issues,we would be game to join the chorus,but they really don't!
Being from the Army,I am thankful to her,for accepting that people from the services react better and act as heroes ,for their families,during crisis in general,but as a man,I think she has been too harsh on men,as we are as sensitive and reactive to any adverse reactions around us,be it home,neighborhood or the country,as the women,if not more!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
I totally disagree with Shobha De's unwarranted accusation that men personalize crisis . . . and always think about themselves and about their immediate priorities! (The Sexes-THE WEEK,Dec 21,2008)
Being a great admirer of women,I cannot undermine the sincerity and concern of a lady,but saying that men are insensitive to happenings around them,is absolutely baseless.They may have their own ways of expressing,or showing concern,and may even not express it,but they definitely do not lack the sensitivity to any crisis,small or big! If getting into convulsive shrieks or hysterical reactions is being sensitive,then Sorry!,we,the men are not party to it.Men may continue doing whatever they are doing,be it a discussion,watching TV,having a drink or doing anything for that matter,but the concern is always there,and the necessary action that has to be taken,is taken too,but at the appropriate time ,subtly and without a press release of it !
Discussing the same issue repeatedly,does not increase the intensity of concern,and making irrelevant statements,often undermines the gravity of the crisis.If repeating When will this jam move? When will the flight come?? Kitni mehngai ho gai hai!!! LPG prices are up again!!!! Just see the petrol price!!!!! ( last one may not be used for sometime) and many such statements ,at a predictably irritating frequency,could solve the issues,we would be game to join the chorus,but they really don't!
Being from the Army,I am thankful to her,for accepting that people from the services react better and act as heroes ,for their families,during crisis in general,but as a man,I think she has been too harsh on men,as we are as sensitive and reactive to any adverse reactions around us,be it home,neighborhood or the country,as the women,if not more!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Saturday, December 13, 2008
FIGHTING TERRORISM
FIGHT TERROR ON WAR FOOTING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The growing lethal menace of terror has to be tackled,and that too on War Footing ( Cover Story,India Today,Dec 15,2008)
Following are few suggestions to achieve this goal,
War against terror should become a permanent international issue,with priority above finance,nuclear deal,sports,growth,etc
We should realize that even though most or even all terrorists may be Muslims,this is not a Muslim verses rest of the world issue-its the world against terrorism.
The hearts of Muslims should be won,and they should be convinced that the war is against Terrorists and not Muslims.We have to take them in confidence and to motivate them to join hands in the anti terror war,as we cannot win the war without the support of the Islamic world
Do try to explore the motive behind the terrorism-if there is any!
Formation of a separate Anti Terror Council in UNO
Expansion of the Anti Terror Squads at national and state level,with well equipped,motivated,highly trained Quick Reaction Teams.
Step up vigilance and security at all levels and all places round the clock,as a routine.
Training to the common man,at school,work place and camps,for self defense and to render aid during a terrorist attack
Pressurize Pakistan and any other country,giving shelter to the terrorists to stop training camps forthwith and to destroy camps and punish terrorists in an exemplary manner which would be deterrent to others.
And to do all this on a war footing,and if results are not forthcoming then not to hesitate in going in for a war,against any country providing shelter,aid,assistance,asylum or any form of support to the terrorists
The issue is significant,and actually a struggle not only for peaceful survival,but for survival itself,and each member of the human community has to join hands in fighting terrorism,by being vigilant,aware,cautious,and above all to avoid in any such activity,under the intoxication of fanatism!
Dr Sanjay kapoor Lucknow
The growing lethal menace of terror has to be tackled,and that too on War Footing ( Cover Story,India Today,Dec 15,2008)
Following are few suggestions to achieve this goal,
War against terror should become a permanent international issue,with priority above finance,nuclear deal,sports,growth,etc
We should realize that even though most or even all terrorists may be Muslims,this is not a Muslim verses rest of the world issue-its the world against terrorism.
The hearts of Muslims should be won,and they should be convinced that the war is against Terrorists and not Muslims.We have to take them in confidence and to motivate them to join hands in the anti terror war,as we cannot win the war without the support of the Islamic world
Do try to explore the motive behind the terrorism-if there is any!
Formation of a separate Anti Terror Council in UNO
Expansion of the Anti Terror Squads at national and state level,with well equipped,motivated,highly trained Quick Reaction Teams.
Step up vigilance and security at all levels and all places round the clock,as a routine.
Training to the common man,at school,work place and camps,for self defense and to render aid during a terrorist attack
Pressurize Pakistan and any other country,giving shelter to the terrorists to stop training camps forthwith and to destroy camps and punish terrorists in an exemplary manner which would be deterrent to others.
And to do all this on a war footing,and if results are not forthcoming then not to hesitate in going in for a war,against any country providing shelter,aid,assistance,asylum or any form of support to the terrorists
The issue is significant,and actually a struggle not only for peaceful survival,but for survival itself,and each member of the human community has to join hands in fighting terrorism,by being vigilant,aware,cautious,and above all to avoid in any such activity,under the intoxication of fanatism!
Dr Sanjay kapoor Lucknow
FIGHTING TERRORISM
FIGHT TERROR ON WAR FOOTING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The growing lethal menace of terror has to be tackled,and that too on War Footing ( Cover Story,India Today,Dec 15,2008)
Following are few suggestions to achieve this goal,
War against terror should become a permanent international issue,with priority above finance,nuclear deal,sports,growth,etc
We should realize that even though most or even all terrorists may be Muslims,this is not a Muslim verses rest of the world issue-its the world against terrorism.
The hearts of Muslims should be won,and they should be convinced that the war is against Terrorists and not Muslims.We have to take them in confidence and to motivate them to join hands in the anti terror war,as we cannot win the war without the support of the Islamic world
Do try to explore the motive behind the terrorism-if there is any!
Formation of a separate Anti Terror Council in UNO
Expansion of the Anti Terror Squads at national and state level,with well equipped,motivated,highly trained Quick Reaction Teams.
Step up vigilance and security at all levels and all places round the clock,as a routine.
Training to the common man,at school,work place and camps,for self defense and to render aid during a terrorist attack
Pressurize Pakistan and any other country,giving shelter to the terrorists to stop training camps forthwith and to destroy camps and punish terrorists in an exemplary manner which would be deterrent to others.
And to do all this on a war footing,and if results are not forthcoming then not to hesitate in going in for a war,against any country providing shelter,aid,assistance,asylum or any form of support to the terrorists
The issue is significant,and actually a struggle not only for peaceful survival,but for survival itself,and each member of the human community has to join hands in fighting terrorism,by being vigilant,aware,cautious,and above all to avoid in any such activity,under the intoxication of fanatism!
Dr Sanjay kapoor Lucknow
The growing lethal menace of terror has to be tackled,and that too on War Footing ( Cover Story,India Today,Dec 15,2008)
Following are few suggestions to achieve this goal,
War against terror should become a permanent international issue,with priority above finance,nuclear deal,sports,growth,etc
We should realize that even though most or even all terrorists may be Muslims,this is not a Muslim verses rest of the world issue-its the world against terrorism.
The hearts of Muslims should be won,and they should be convinced that the war is against Terrorists and not Muslims.We have to take them in confidence and to motivate them to join hands in the anti terror war,as we cannot win the war without the support of the Islamic world
Do try to explore the motive behind the terrorism-if there is any!
Formation of a separate Anti Terror Council in UNO
Expansion of the Anti Terror Squads at national and state level,with well equipped,motivated,highly trained Quick Reaction Teams.
Step up vigilance and security at all levels and all places round the clock,as a routine.
Training to the common man,at school,work place and camps,for self defense and to render aid during a terrorist attack
Pressurize Pakistan and any other country,giving shelter to the terrorists to stop training camps forthwith and to destroy camps and punish terrorists in an exemplary manner which would be deterrent to others.
And to do all this on a war footing,and if results are not forthcoming then not to hesitate in going in for a war,against any country providing shelter,aid,assistance,asylum or any form of support to the terrorists
The issue is significant,and actually a struggle not only for peaceful survival,but for survival itself,and each member of the human community has to join hands in fighting terrorism,by being vigilant,aware,cautious,and above all to avoid in any such activity,under the intoxication of fanatism!
Dr Sanjay kapoor Lucknow
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
FIGHTING TERRORISM
IMPORTED IS VALUABLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We Indians have always been fascinated by imported stuff,even if it is made in India,and then sold from the footpaths of Singapore or the Duty free shops of Dubai with different labels.But it has been proved beyond doubt now,that it is not only firangi products that are valued high,,but even a foreigners death is valued more than the lives of common Indians!
Heartiest congratulations to India,USA,Pakistan and to all the peace loving humans on this earth at the arrest of Zakiur Rehman Lakhvi ,the mastermind behind the Mumbai carnage,by Pakistani raids,yesterday(TOI,Dec 09,2008).This is probably the first major positive step,towards our battle against this global terrorism.But what saddens me,is the fact,that hundreds and thousands of people including innumerable innocent women and children,have died over the last two decades in the valley and during other terrorist attacks in India,but nothing was done about it,at the international level.In spite of not only indirect innuendoes,but even when there were direct evidence of the terrorists being trained,camped and aided by Pakistan,all we got as a support from USA was lip service,and that too,only on our land.It is the death of few foreigners in India,during the attack,that shook USA and the world,to force Pakistan to take firm action against the concerned masterminds of the havoc rendering attacks.
My heart bleeds for all those who lost their lives,including our foreign tourists,during the recent Mumbai blasts,but it seems their sacrifice has not gone waste.By dying in those blasts ,they have shattered the slumber of the world and their painful shrieks have penetrated the deafness of the powers to be, and compelled USA to force Pakistan to take the much desired and awaited steps to stop patronizing terrorism ,officially or unofficially!
Lets hope that the welcome arrest of this dreaded monster,chachu,is the beginning towards a new dawn to a peaceful day,without the fear of blasts and gunshots and the death of those hundreds who lost their lives in the latest horrifying terrorist attack,prevents the further loss of innocent lives ,from the hands of terrorists,in future !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
We Indians have always been fascinated by imported stuff,even if it is made in India,and then sold from the footpaths of Singapore or the Duty free shops of Dubai with different labels.But it has been proved beyond doubt now,that it is not only firangi products that are valued high,,but even a foreigners death is valued more than the lives of common Indians!
Heartiest congratulations to India,USA,Pakistan and to all the peace loving humans on this earth at the arrest of Zakiur Rehman Lakhvi ,the mastermind behind the Mumbai carnage,by Pakistani raids,yesterday(TOI,Dec 09,2008).This is probably the first major positive step,towards our battle against this global terrorism.But what saddens me,is the fact,that hundreds and thousands of people including innumerable innocent women and children,have died over the last two decades in the valley and during other terrorist attacks in India,but nothing was done about it,at the international level.In spite of not only indirect innuendoes,but even when there were direct evidence of the terrorists being trained,camped and aided by Pakistan,all we got as a support from USA was lip service,and that too,only on our land.It is the death of few foreigners in India,during the attack,that shook USA and the world,to force Pakistan to take firm action against the concerned masterminds of the havoc rendering attacks.
My heart bleeds for all those who lost their lives,including our foreign tourists,during the recent Mumbai blasts,but it seems their sacrifice has not gone waste.By dying in those blasts ,they have shattered the slumber of the world and their painful shrieks have penetrated the deafness of the powers to be, and compelled USA to force Pakistan to take the much desired and awaited steps to stop patronizing terrorism ,officially or unofficially!
Lets hope that the welcome arrest of this dreaded monster,chachu,is the beginning towards a new dawn to a peaceful day,without the fear of blasts and gunshots and the death of those hundreds who lost their lives in the latest horrifying terrorist attack,prevents the further loss of innocent lives ,from the hands of terrorists,in future !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Sunday, December 7, 2008
TV SERIALS OF TODAYS
A Distorted Version
The soaps of today are hardly a reflection of Indian society,and on the contrary present a very distorted picture of it
They cannot be compared to the older ones like,HUMLOG and BUNIYAAD,which were the soaps with which one could relate oneself.While HUMLOG beautifully presented the social,personal and domestic problems of the middle class Indian,Buniyad portrayed the emotions and values of life of a commoner,
Today's soaps are a vulgar display of money,power,beauty and treachery.Affairs,infidelity,premarital-sex,kids out of bed-lock and domestic bickering have existed since eternity,but even today they are not the norm.Not every person has a past and a present ,skeletons of which need to be hidden everyday.Majority of us have a basic personality which is almost permanent and not changing with every season like the split personality characters of these serials.Wish the directors and script-writers looked up the dictionary for the meaning of certain common words like,faith,trust and poetic justice
These soaps are conveying a message that these are the accepted norms and common occurring in our society,which is far from the truth
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
The soaps of today are hardly a reflection of Indian society,and on the contrary present a very distorted picture of it
They cannot be compared to the older ones like,HUMLOG and BUNIYAAD,which were the soaps with which one could relate oneself.While HUMLOG beautifully presented the social,personal and domestic problems of the middle class Indian,Buniyad portrayed the emotions and values of life of a commoner,
Today's soaps are a vulgar display of money,power,beauty and treachery.Affairs,infidelity,premarital-sex,kids out of bed-lock and domestic bickering have existed since eternity,but even today they are not the norm.Not every person has a past and a present ,skeletons of which need to be hidden everyday.Majority of us have a basic personality which is almost permanent and not changing with every season like the split personality characters of these serials.Wish the directors and script-writers looked up the dictionary for the meaning of certain common words like,faith,trust and poetic justice
These soaps are conveying a message that these are the accepted norms and common occurring in our society,which is far from the truth
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Saturday, December 6, 2008
SEXPLOSION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sex and sexuality have coexisted with mankind ever since Adam and Eve.The definition,significance and expression of it has however changed from time to time and from person to person.While sex is majorly accepted by most as the ultimate expression of love and the eternal bonding between man and woman,for some it may be a one-night-stand or even a forgettable quickie lasting a few minutes.
Premarital and extramarital,or rather any form of sex have existed since time immemorial. There hasn't been any significant actual increase in these
Two major changes have however occurred recently. Firstly people have shun their orthodox inhibitions about sex and the discussions of sex indulgence have become common at workplace,in coffee-table-magazines,in chat-shows or even across the dining table at home.The second major change that has occurred is that while earlier,it was the sole prerogative of man to decide when and with whom,what he has to do,it is the women who are playing their cards too,now.Few women today take the liberty in indulging in any form of sex,willingly and often it is they who use the men as disposable partners.We however have no right to stand as moral or social guardian to today's liberated youth deciding what is right and wrong and when.
In today's scenario when sex between two consented adults cannot be objected too, I cannot resist from stressing that excessive pre and extra marital sex is not only dangerous for getting exposed to the risk of deadly sexually transmitted diseases,but is a great hindrance in establishing a strong bond with a life-partner
It hence becomes imperative for us as parents, to impart sufficient and timely sex-education to our children to enable them to handle their sexuality carefully and to be able to take the correct decision at the correct time
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Premarital and extramarital,or rather any form of sex have existed since time immemorial. There hasn't been any significant actual increase in these
Two major changes have however occurred recently. Firstly people have shun their orthodox inhibitions about sex and the discussions of sex indulgence have become common at workplace,in coffee-table-magazines,in chat-shows or even across the dining table at home.The second major change that has occurred is that while earlier,it was the sole prerogative of man to decide when and with whom,what he has to do,it is the women who are playing their cards too,now.Few women today take the liberty in indulging in any form of sex,willingly and often it is they who use the men as disposable partners.We however have no right to stand as moral or social guardian to today's liberated youth deciding what is right and wrong and when.
In today's scenario when sex between two consented adults cannot be objected too, I cannot resist from stressing that excessive pre and extra marital sex is not only dangerous for getting exposed to the risk of deadly sexually transmitted diseases,but is a great hindrance in establishing a strong bond with a life-partner
It hence becomes imperative for us as parents, to impart sufficient and timely sex-education to our children to enable them to handle their sexuality carefully and to be able to take the correct decision at the correct time
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Monday, December 1, 2008
Mumbai Blasts
BIRTH OF A NEW RELIGION - GLOBAL TERRORISM !!!!!!!!!!!!
The last three days were a nightmare,not only for Mumbai or India but for every peace loving human on this earth.
The ordeal is over and even as life at Mumbai is returning to normalcy,the aftermath of the incident is being felt gradually and the impact is sinking in now - a constant sense of scare and insecurity in the minds of every man.There has been a great loss of a large number of lives,innumerable people injured and unimaginable loss or property ,but the biggest success of the attack,has been the successful declaration of the birth of a new religion-Global terrorism, which has created a perpetual dread .The blasts are over but the louder sound of fear being echoed from all directions is that terrorism is here to stay!
The attacks were in India,but had an international impact,as they were aimed against the complete world and the entire humanity.Most ,or rather all of the attackers and the attackers of other terrorist attacks may be from a particular religion,but this is neither Hindu-Muslim,nor India-Pak and not even concerning the Kashmir issue.These terrorists have no religion and belong to no country.Terrorists were earlier recognized as uneducated,familyless,poor homeless people dressed in a camouflage daangree,but the present set,has broken all socio-religious,and geopolitical boundaries and stretches through all economic and educational strata.It is neither a group,nor an organization,but a community of fanatics that runs probably in crores in numbers,includes technical professionals and is composed of psychopaths armed with the unbeatable weapon of suicidal determination.
The Mumbai crisis ,which was one of the worst terrorist attack on the country ever,was commendably overcome by the NSG,Mumbai Police and the Armed Forces along with the unclenching support of the staff of Oberoi and Taj hotels,local agencies and the energetic Mumbaites.What was conspicuous was the lack of any pre rehearsed plan to combat such terrorist attacks,and the luke warm reaction and almost impotent role of the politicians,government and the so called guardians of the country and specially Mumbai! The operations are over,but the trouble is not.It can recur,anywhere and even in a worse and bigger magnitude and each one of us has to be prepared to face and fight it. But a bigger issue is to end this global terrorism.
The Jihadi mind set,meticulous planning,intensive training,perfect execution ,unlimited armentaterium along with the ever increasing strength in numbers,and the unimaginable pace of growth of this global terrorism is an international matter of great concern.Driven by the in human fanatism and blindfolded by the religious motivation,the terrorists are acting like puppets,on the directions of few,to unknown destinations and towards undefined goals.I,with my small brains,fail to understand the motive behind it.Is it the revenge of the past,struggle of today,or insecurity for the future?
After every such attack,the first thing that we do,is talk of lax security,and as a knee jerk action,increase it,for the next few days.
But this is far from adequate.The in depth information available with them and the comprehensive scheming can break any security circle.What is required today is to reach the cause of the terrorism and its motive,and a very effective fool-proof system to counteract such an attack with minimal damage.
Security has to be enhanced but above all ,Anti Terrorism should become an International affair.It needs to be handled either by a special newly created branch in the UNO or a separate International Anti terrorist Agency to fight this lethal demon.Besides combining intelligence and improvising security measures,the agency should derive and create prompt and effective anti terrorism plans and simultaneously try to reach at the cause of it,and attempt to solve it with international intervening and dialogue. At national level anti-terrorism should become a major issue for all governments,with minimum a ministry status,with adequate funds and resources.
And above all,every individual besides being vigilant,should stay away from such fanatism,motivate people against it,avoid any instigation ,and above all be a responsible citizen of humanity to fight terrorism.
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
The last three days were a nightmare,not only for Mumbai or India but for every peace loving human on this earth.
The ordeal is over and even as life at Mumbai is returning to normalcy,the aftermath of the incident is being felt gradually and the impact is sinking in now - a constant sense of scare and insecurity in the minds of every man.There has been a great loss of a large number of lives,innumerable people injured and unimaginable loss or property ,but the biggest success of the attack,has been the successful declaration of the birth of a new religion-Global terrorism, which has created a perpetual dread .The blasts are over but the louder sound of fear being echoed from all directions is that terrorism is here to stay!
The attacks were in India,but had an international impact,as they were aimed against the complete world and the entire humanity.Most ,or rather all of the attackers and the attackers of other terrorist attacks may be from a particular religion,but this is neither Hindu-Muslim,nor India-Pak and not even concerning the Kashmir issue.These terrorists have no religion and belong to no country.Terrorists were earlier recognized as uneducated,familyless,poor homeless people dressed in a camouflage daangree,but the present set,has broken all socio-religious,and geopolitical boundaries and stretches through all economic and educational strata.It is neither a group,nor an organization,but a community of fanatics that runs probably in crores in numbers,includes technical professionals and is composed of psychopaths armed with the unbeatable weapon of suicidal determination.
The Mumbai crisis ,which was one of the worst terrorist attack on the country ever,was commendably overcome by the NSG,Mumbai Police and the Armed Forces along with the unclenching support of the staff of Oberoi and Taj hotels,local agencies and the energetic Mumbaites.What was conspicuous was the lack of any pre rehearsed plan to combat such terrorist attacks,and the luke warm reaction and almost impotent role of the politicians,government and the so called guardians of the country and specially Mumbai! The operations are over,but the trouble is not.It can recur,anywhere and even in a worse and bigger magnitude and each one of us has to be prepared to face and fight it. But a bigger issue is to end this global terrorism.
The Jihadi mind set,meticulous planning,intensive training,perfect execution ,unlimited armentaterium along with the ever increasing strength in numbers,and the unimaginable pace of growth of this global terrorism is an international matter of great concern.Driven by the in human fanatism and blindfolded by the religious motivation,the terrorists are acting like puppets,on the directions of few,to unknown destinations and towards undefined goals.I,with my small brains,fail to understand the motive behind it.Is it the revenge of the past,struggle of today,or insecurity for the future?
After every such attack,the first thing that we do,is talk of lax security,and as a knee jerk action,increase it,for the next few days.
But this is far from adequate.The in depth information available with them and the comprehensive scheming can break any security circle.What is required today is to reach the cause of the terrorism and its motive,and a very effective fool-proof system to counteract such an attack with minimal damage.
Security has to be enhanced but above all ,Anti Terrorism should become an International affair.It needs to be handled either by a special newly created branch in the UNO or a separate International Anti terrorist Agency to fight this lethal demon.Besides combining intelligence and improvising security measures,the agency should derive and create prompt and effective anti terrorism plans and simultaneously try to reach at the cause of it,and attempt to solve it with international intervening and dialogue. At national level anti-terrorism should become a major issue for all governments,with minimum a ministry status,with adequate funds and resources.
And above all,every individual besides being vigilant,should stay away from such fanatism,motivate people against it,avoid any instigation ,and above all be a responsible citizen of humanity to fight terrorism.
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
MISUNDERSTOOD MALES
THE MISUNDERSTOOD MALE !!!!!!!!!!!
Since the time of Adam and Eve,there have been certain misconceptions about the Men! The general image,on man has always that of a emotionless,ruthless,unromantic,insensitive and irresponsible human being,who loves to be left to himself,or with his male friends,to enjoy his sports and TV and hates going out,partying and shopping,who is having a ball of a time,in the family,at the cost of the women,and all that this sex-maniac expects from a woman is sex and more sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Am extremely grateful to the Outlook( Oct 26,2008) for doing a cover story of the GENDER MYTHS,and in at least trying to partially break the harsh image of the male gender,in several aspects of life.
Men are very sensitive,caring and emotional,though the ways of expressing may be different and less obvious than the woman.And YES,men cry too! But they are judicious with their feelings and tears and save them for appropriate and deserving moments!!Forgetting dates,or not rattling the expected three worded 143s four times a day,does not make them unromantic.They have their subtle ways of expressing love and romance,which usually goes unnoticed by their better half,who lack the ability to read in between lines,and are deaf to the unsaid sweet nothings! But men are not just saintly goody-goody either.They love gossiping,bitching and even plotting!
Men don't dislike shopping,but they hate window shopping ! They would not only accompany women for shopping but actually enjoy meaningful shopping for the seasonal wardrobe for the entire family,gifts on festivals and occasions,and even the monthly grocery or the weekly poultry,but they actually hate mundane,compulsive shopping,specially if further poisoned with queuing for unrequited purchases at sales and involving futile haggling.
Men make better friends,with a meaningful bonding which can last for a life-time and love socializing too,but with people,they gel with.One thing that they cant do is small talk and mixing ,more for a social cause and would rather enjoy an intelligent interactive conversation,than a party full of pretentious page 3 celebrities.
Men are good home makers too,and generally contribute significantly in the running of the house by rendering all possible help to the working wife.They are undoubtedly as loving and doting a parent as the mother can be,and I wouldn't hesitate in adding that not only they contribution significantly in the upbringing a child,their role as a father is often more challenging than the mother,specially during the teens and the adulthood of the children.
With working women,being almost the norm,women are sharing a great deal of the financial load,but the man generally shoulders a bigger share of the stress and overall responsibility of creating a compatible and congenial balance between the work places,home,family and society and in the settlement and future of the kids
Lastly coming to the biggest accusation,that the man faces of being perpetually sex starved.I agree.men love sex.and enjoy it,and find it to be a great tension buster,but unlike the women they are man enough,to accept it openly.Woman need and enjoy sex,as much if not more and have their shares of desires,fantasies and even indulgence,but its just they want to keep it,within their heart,or max within the bedroom!
Men have been a misunderstood lot,and shall continue to be so,and after some time they just give up and stop worrying about their indifferent and in sensitive image or doing anything to change it.But on behalf of all the men,I would like to tell the ladies,that most husbands love their wives a hundred times more than what they can show or express and definitely a thousand time more than what the wives think !
Sanjay,Lucknow
Since the time of Adam and Eve,there have been certain misconceptions about the Men! The general image,on man has always that of a emotionless,ruthless,unromantic,insensitive and irresponsible human being,who loves to be left to himself,or with his male friends,to enjoy his sports and TV and hates going out,partying and shopping,who is having a ball of a time,in the family,at the cost of the women,and all that this sex-maniac expects from a woman is sex and more sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Am extremely grateful to the Outlook( Oct 26,2008) for doing a cover story of the GENDER MYTHS,and in at least trying to partially break the harsh image of the male gender,in several aspects of life.
Men are very sensitive,caring and emotional,though the ways of expressing may be different and less obvious than the woman.And YES,men cry too! But they are judicious with their feelings and tears and save them for appropriate and deserving moments!!Forgetting dates,or not rattling the expected three worded 143s four times a day,does not make them unromantic.They have their subtle ways of expressing love and romance,which usually goes unnoticed by their better half,who lack the ability to read in between lines,and are deaf to the unsaid sweet nothings! But men are not just saintly goody-goody either.They love gossiping,bitching and even plotting!
Men don't dislike shopping,but they hate window shopping ! They would not only accompany women for shopping but actually enjoy meaningful shopping for the seasonal wardrobe for the entire family,gifts on festivals and occasions,and even the monthly grocery or the weekly poultry,but they actually hate mundane,compulsive shopping,specially if further poisoned with queuing for unrequited purchases at sales and involving futile haggling.
Men make better friends,with a meaningful bonding which can last for a life-time and love socializing too,but with people,they gel with.One thing that they cant do is small talk and mixing ,more for a social cause and would rather enjoy an intelligent interactive conversation,than a party full of pretentious page 3 celebrities.
Men are good home makers too,and generally contribute significantly in the running of the house by rendering all possible help to the working wife.They are undoubtedly as loving and doting a parent as the mother can be,and I wouldn't hesitate in adding that not only they contribution significantly in the upbringing a child,their role as a father is often more challenging than the mother,specially during the teens and the adulthood of the children.
With working women,being almost the norm,women are sharing a great deal of the financial load,but the man generally shoulders a bigger share of the stress and overall responsibility of creating a compatible and congenial balance between the work places,home,family and society and in the settlement and future of the kids
Lastly coming to the biggest accusation,that the man faces of being perpetually sex starved.I agree.men love sex.and enjoy it,and find it to be a great tension buster,but unlike the women they are man enough,to accept it openly.Woman need and enjoy sex,as much if not more and have their shares of desires,fantasies and even indulgence,but its just they want to keep it,within their heart,or max within the bedroom!
Men have been a misunderstood lot,and shall continue to be so,and after some time they just give up and stop worrying about their indifferent and in sensitive image or doing anything to change it.But on behalf of all the men,I would like to tell the ladies,that most husbands love their wives a hundred times more than what they can show or express and definitely a thousand time more than what the wives think !
Sanjay,Lucknow
Sunday, October 19, 2008
ISOLATED MUSLIMS
Self Exile !!!!!!
The identity crisis being faced by the Muslims is quite apparent as the frustration is being reflected loudly(Under Siege,INDIA TODAY,Oct 20,2008),Using the word,marginalized,may be harsh,but they are definitely feeling isolated,but it is the Muslims themselves who are to be blamed for this.
This upsurge of polarization between the Muslims and the non-Muslims,is not very surprising.Religion has always been blamed and considered as the main cause of separatism,but the present trend of in India show more of a socio-economic divide as the route cause of the increasing isolation of the Muslims.It is a battle of the underprivileged against the rest of the country,and its just co-incidental that most of these happen to Muslims !
The story seems to have started more than five decades back,and is erupting now.Low socioeconomic status and lack of proper education lead to resorting to labor related jobs.The low income along with larger number of children compared to rest of the population,added to the crisis,leading to more mouths to be fed with less resources.This predictably,lead to further less education and early induction into jobs.The nature of education and inadequate qualifications,prevented the next generation from coming into the main stream with better jobs and elevation of social standards.This lead to a vicious cycle,poverty and lack of proper education,more children,early induction into low paying jobs leading to further poverty.
But no where can the Government or any religious group be blamed for this.While no active measures may have been taken to give reservations or create special job vacancies,there was no hindrance or reservations or discrimination against them for education or jobs either.If anything that can be blamed is their socio cultural and religious trends and beliefs that may have resulted in this wide contrast between the social status,job profiles,education and income of most of them and the majority of the rest of the progressing country.This self created disparity has lead to an frustration,which is erupting terrorism in an rage of anger
In their obsession for their religion and social customs and in their fanatic endeavors to maintain their social laws,the Muslims,failed to mingle with the common man in the country,and neglected all invitations to join the main stream.Parsis were a small group,and went the same way,and almost reached a stage of extinction,till they started breaking their socio-religious customs.Muslims have clung to their customs and beliefs so rigidly,that,it has interfered in their progress.They too, can embrace the national stream ,without neglecting their religious,social and cultural beliefs,as all other Indians belonging to diversified religions and beliefs have done.
The battle is not religious,but that of fanatics with a non progressive mindset against the common man and that of the vindictive terrorist against the peace loving citizen of the country
It is the Muslims themselves,who have resorted to a self-exile,and they themselves can end this isolation,by adopting the prevalent socio cultural norms of the country!
The identity crisis being faced by the Muslims is quite apparent as the frustration is being reflected loudly(Under Siege,INDIA TODAY,Oct 20,2008),Using the word,marginalized,may be harsh,but they are definitely feeling isolated,but it is the Muslims themselves who are to be blamed for this.
This upsurge of polarization between the Muslims and the non-Muslims,is not very surprising.Religion has always been blamed and considered as the main cause of separatism,but the present trend of in India show more of a socio-economic divide as the route cause of the increasing isolation of the Muslims.It is a battle of the underprivileged against the rest of the country,and its just co-incidental that most of these happen to Muslims !
The story seems to have started more than five decades back,and is erupting now.Low socioeconomic status and lack of proper education lead to resorting to labor related jobs.The low income along with larger number of children compared to rest of the population,added to the crisis,leading to more mouths to be fed with less resources.This predictably,lead to further less education and early induction into jobs.The nature of education and inadequate qualifications,prevented the next generation from coming into the main stream with better jobs and elevation of social standards.This lead to a vicious cycle,poverty and lack of proper education,more children,early induction into low paying jobs leading to further poverty.
But no where can the Government or any religious group be blamed for this.While no active measures may have been taken to give reservations or create special job vacancies,there was no hindrance or reservations or discrimination against them for education or jobs either.If anything that can be blamed is their socio cultural and religious trends and beliefs that may have resulted in this wide contrast between the social status,job profiles,education and income of most of them and the majority of the rest of the progressing country.This self created disparity has lead to an frustration,which is erupting terrorism in an rage of anger
In their obsession for their religion and social customs and in their fanatic endeavors to maintain their social laws,the Muslims,failed to mingle with the common man in the country,and neglected all invitations to join the main stream.Parsis were a small group,and went the same way,and almost reached a stage of extinction,till they started breaking their socio-religious customs.Muslims have clung to their customs and beliefs so rigidly,that,it has interfered in their progress.They too, can embrace the national stream ,without neglecting their religious,social and cultural beliefs,as all other Indians belonging to diversified religions and beliefs have done.
The battle is not religious,but that of fanatics with a non progressive mindset against the common man and that of the vindictive terrorist against the peace loving citizen of the country
It is the Muslims themselves,who have resorted to a self-exile,and they themselves can end this isolation,by adopting the prevalent socio cultural norms of the country!
CHANGING TRENDS IN CHILDREN
13 is 18 - To be treated as 21
I couldn't agree more with Abha Admas,when she says that kids at 13 are better informed,freer,more open to friendships,less intolerant and more environmentally and politically aware then yesterdays18-year-olds.You can say 13 is the new 18( Is 13 the new 18?OUTLOOK,Oct 20.2008)
But this premature entry into maturity,cannot be really rejoiced since it has not come free and is with a several drawbacks! The main reasons for a 13 year old child,behaving that of 18,has been the exposure to the TV,internet,the world in general and above all the changing attitude of elders specially the parents,who interact with the child more like an individual,than a kid who needs to be mastered and dealt with a distant strictness.
The children are entering adulthood,before time ,at the cost of their childhood and even teens at times.The child has lost out on the childhood pranks,outdoor games,story books,penpals,picnics,crafts,interactive creative activities and above all the innocence of a child-the times that will never come back again!
The improved general awareness however can be welcomed only temporarily,as in the long run it is the child who will be the loser.The loss is in the changed attitude towards,family,religion and the roots,changing inter and intra personal relationships and the vulnerability to a large spectrum of vices.And the etiology of this is the changed lifestyles and the attitude of parents.The nuclear family norm,spending long hours unattended,easy accessibility to net,almost pornographic music videos,TV serials and movies, inability of parents to spend enough time with the kids,easy availability of money and luxuries to kids,and premature grant of liberty to take decisions is worsening the situation.
The sanctity of a parent-child relationship has been undermined by the casualness of friendship,in a hurry to bridge the generation gap,without actual friendly and loving interaction.The generation gap has to be bridged,but not at the cost of respect of the parent.Parents are often just a comfort providing agency,functional at the gun point of emotional blackmail.My Dad is my ATM,is a cute but a realistic T-shirt slogan.Eating food with the family or even going out for a family outing is a big NO! NO!! Wearing traditional clothes,celebrating festivals,visits to temples,meeting relatives and talking of mythology or Indian culture are considered retro.
On the inter personal front,the child has forgotten bonding and co-operation.The jealousy,competition and comparison with peers has started at a very early age,with the child going out of his or her way to out do the other in every thing,and takes pride not only in flashing his gadgets,branded clothes and accessories,holiday trips,but even the appointments and achievements of parents.
The child of today has been hit worst,on the intrapersonal front.These kids are a different lot.They are brought up in the best possible manner,with all comforts,often beyond the status of the parents.The overindulgence from the parents,easy accessibility to all amenities and even luxuries,gives the child a false sense of security.Though they have great plans and ambitions,the child looses the drive to excel or to do something great in life.Many children are too rigid,non yielding and even arrogant.Above all the child is lonely,and learns to mask his or her real feelings and personality ,at a very early age,to suit what is the in-thing! The genuineness of a child is masked ,and there are several avenues for them to give went to their inner negative feelings and cravings,though the chat rooms and false identities on the sites like face-book.The help from net and the stress of studies,curbs creativity and the requirement of a fixed curriculum education,prohibits the child to excel or even indulge in arts and hobbies of choice.
Lastly,this child of 13,with an awareness of 18,is at risk of vices which are generally seen after the age of 21.Even at the tender age of 13,the child is vulnerable to stealing,smoking,drinking and even to drugs and experimental sex.If this was not enough,lack of fear and early shedding of childhood instincts,at times,even drive the teenager to unimaginable crimes like rape and murder or sexual exploitation and blackmail.
So,while we rejoice seeing our child of 13,excelling at the computer,as a 18 year old,we must watch our child,as if he or she was 21! What we as parents have to do,is to provide the child a supervised freedom and a constant interaction and probing,to get a feel of what is going on inside that tender mind and heart and to know the ambitions and dreams,to extend the help to achieve them and at the same time to recognize the fears and fallacies so that the timely appropriate measures can be taken to overcome them.The personality development is more important than the grades secured in examinations,and a major responsibility of this,lies on the parents!
This was however the story of the privileged child of the middle and upper class.We have another set of children too,who are 18,at 13,not due to their awareness of rock music or the competence in creating a webpage,but because they have been forced into child labor,due to circumstances,and may be earning bread for self and even family as,many don't do, even at 25,
I couldn't agree more with Abha Admas,when she says that kids at 13 are better informed,freer,more open to friendships,less intolerant and more environmentally and politically aware then yesterdays18-year-olds.You can say 13 is the new 18( Is 13 the new 18?OUTLOOK,Oct 20.2008)
But this premature entry into maturity,cannot be really rejoiced since it has not come free and is with a several drawbacks! The main reasons for a 13 year old child,behaving that of 18,has been the exposure to the TV,internet,the world in general and above all the changing attitude of elders specially the parents,who interact with the child more like an individual,than a kid who needs to be mastered and dealt with a distant strictness.
The children are entering adulthood,before time ,at the cost of their childhood and even teens at times.The child has lost out on the childhood pranks,outdoor games,story books,penpals,picnics,crafts,interactive creative activities and above all the innocence of a child-the times that will never come back again!
The improved general awareness however can be welcomed only temporarily,as in the long run it is the child who will be the loser.The loss is in the changed attitude towards,family,religion and the roots,changing inter and intra personal relationships and the vulnerability to a large spectrum of vices.And the etiology of this is the changed lifestyles and the attitude of parents.The nuclear family norm,spending long hours unattended,easy accessibility to net,almost pornographic music videos,TV serials and movies, inability of parents to spend enough time with the kids,easy availability of money and luxuries to kids,and premature grant of liberty to take decisions is worsening the situation.
The sanctity of a parent-child relationship has been undermined by the casualness of friendship,in a hurry to bridge the generation gap,without actual friendly and loving interaction.The generation gap has to be bridged,but not at the cost of respect of the parent.Parents are often just a comfort providing agency,functional at the gun point of emotional blackmail.My Dad is my ATM,is a cute but a realistic T-shirt slogan.Eating food with the family or even going out for a family outing is a big NO! NO!! Wearing traditional clothes,celebrating festivals,visits to temples,meeting relatives and talking of mythology or Indian culture are considered retro.
On the inter personal front,the child has forgotten bonding and co-operation.The jealousy,competition and comparison with peers has started at a very early age,with the child going out of his or her way to out do the other in every thing,and takes pride not only in flashing his gadgets,branded clothes and accessories,holiday trips,but even the appointments and achievements of parents.
The child of today has been hit worst,on the intrapersonal front.These kids are a different lot.They are brought up in the best possible manner,with all comforts,often beyond the status of the parents.The overindulgence from the parents,easy accessibility to all amenities and even luxuries,gives the child a false sense of security.Though they have great plans and ambitions,the child looses the drive to excel or to do something great in life.Many children are too rigid,non yielding and even arrogant.Above all the child is lonely,and learns to mask his or her real feelings and personality ,at a very early age,to suit what is the in-thing! The genuineness of a child is masked ,and there are several avenues for them to give went to their inner negative feelings and cravings,though the chat rooms and false identities on the sites like face-book.The help from net and the stress of studies,curbs creativity and the requirement of a fixed curriculum education,prohibits the child to excel or even indulge in arts and hobbies of choice.
Lastly,this child of 13,with an awareness of 18,is at risk of vices which are generally seen after the age of 21.Even at the tender age of 13,the child is vulnerable to stealing,smoking,drinking and even to drugs and experimental sex.If this was not enough,lack of fear and early shedding of childhood instincts,at times,even drive the teenager to unimaginable crimes like rape and murder or sexual exploitation and blackmail.
So,while we rejoice seeing our child of 13,excelling at the computer,as a 18 year old,we must watch our child,as if he or she was 21! What we as parents have to do,is to provide the child a supervised freedom and a constant interaction and probing,to get a feel of what is going on inside that tender mind and heart and to know the ambitions and dreams,to extend the help to achieve them and at the same time to recognize the fears and fallacies so that the timely appropriate measures can be taken to overcome them.The personality development is more important than the grades secured in examinations,and a major responsibility of this,lies on the parents!
This was however the story of the privileged child of the middle and upper class.We have another set of children too,who are 18,at 13,not due to their awareness of rock music or the competence in creating a webpage,but because they have been forced into child labor,due to circumstances,and may be earning bread for self and even family as,many don't do, even at 25,
Saturday, October 18, 2008
VIOLANCE IN ORRISA
UNRELIGIOUSLY RELIGIOUS
India is the one of the biggest democratic state in the world and probably the most religious too,with its religions being few of the oldest religions on this earth.But we are far from democratic or religious.The religious in tolerance being shown in the country at present is unimaginably deplorable( BOWSTRINGED,OUTLOOK,Oct 20,2008)
I may not be a very religious man,but I believe in God and I may have not read large number of scriptures of all the religions,but I know one thing for sure,that no religion advocates violence against mankind,and that too in the name of religion.
We proudly call our selves progressing,and the country moving fast to become a super power,but,no country can boast of either these,where a citizen does not have the right to choose or practice his or her religion freely.A land that cannot provide the safety and security to the lives of its citizen,from so called the saviors of religion,does not deserve to be called a secular or a democratic state.
The issue of mass conversions is complex,and a totally different debate.People motivating others to embrace a particular religion,may have their ways ,to charm the common man,and may be pardoned as long as they don't use force.And people resorting to conversion in India are mostly driven by poverty,and often have no other alternative.They too should be pardoned,as in a supposedly secular and democratic country they have the right to choose the religion they want to follow.
But people or agencies that cannot be pardoned are the Government and the socio-political and religious bodies who are resorting to the inhumanly violence against these converted people.The present tandav of violence,ranging from rape,arson to the killing of Christians in Orrisa and forcing them to convert back to their original religion is a total failure of governance.No such activity,at such a large scale,unabated,and for so long a duration,that can lead to deaths of hundreds and to make thousands homeless,be carried out,without the support of major political or religious groups or at least there delibrate ,deaf and blind attitude.In fact,a situation where,people are driven to a level of poverty,where they resort to conversions,is in it self , a major indicator of the total failure of the government.May the cries of the innocent people,break the deaf slumber of this impotent local and central government.
This in tolerance to religions and these massacres and violence in the name of God, are a matter of great shame for every political party and religious group of India,and all citizen of this country should put their heads down in shame at this in human and insane fanatism prevailing in our times!
Col Sanjay Kapoor VSM Lucknow
India is the one of the biggest democratic state in the world and probably the most religious too,with its religions being few of the oldest religions on this earth.But we are far from democratic or religious.The religious in tolerance being shown in the country at present is unimaginably deplorable( BOWSTRINGED,OUTLOOK,Oct 20,2008)
I may not be a very religious man,but I believe in God and I may have not read large number of scriptures of all the religions,but I know one thing for sure,that no religion advocates violence against mankind,and that too in the name of religion.
We proudly call our selves progressing,and the country moving fast to become a super power,but,no country can boast of either these,where a citizen does not have the right to choose or practice his or her religion freely.A land that cannot provide the safety and security to the lives of its citizen,from so called the saviors of religion,does not deserve to be called a secular or a democratic state.
The issue of mass conversions is complex,and a totally different debate.People motivating others to embrace a particular religion,may have their ways ,to charm the common man,and may be pardoned as long as they don't use force.And people resorting to conversion in India are mostly driven by poverty,and often have no other alternative.They too should be pardoned,as in a supposedly secular and democratic country they have the right to choose the religion they want to follow.
But people or agencies that cannot be pardoned are the Government and the socio-political and religious bodies who are resorting to the inhumanly violence against these converted people.The present tandav of violence,ranging from rape,arson to the killing of Christians in Orrisa and forcing them to convert back to their original religion is a total failure of governance.No such activity,at such a large scale,unabated,and for so long a duration,that can lead to deaths of hundreds and to make thousands homeless,be carried out,without the support of major political or religious groups or at least there delibrate ,deaf and blind attitude.In fact,a situation where,people are driven to a level of poverty,where they resort to conversions,is in it self , a major indicator of the total failure of the government.May the cries of the innocent people,break the deaf slumber of this impotent local and central government.
This in tolerance to religions and these massacres and violence in the name of God, are a matter of great shame for every political party and religious group of India,and all citizen of this country should put their heads down in shame at this in human and insane fanatism prevailing in our times!
Col Sanjay Kapoor VSM Lucknow
Friday, October 17, 2008
KARVA CHAUTH
Manjila Padmabhan really went overboard in her critism of Karva Chauth
She seems to have got carried away by her pro-liberated woman attitude ,to the extent of discussing this festival in the same breath with the deplorable rituals of sati and dowry deaths
To set a few doubts right,it is not a new festival but very old, and no husband has ever asked his wife for fasting for him.One day of fasting cannot be called starvation ,deprivation ,underprivileged etc.Husband join in ,with their wives,in celebrating the festival,and few even fast with their wives on this day as a mark of solidarity. Lastly,in today's health conscious times,when fasting once a week is popularly being followed , fasting once a year is hardly objectionable
Fasting , if it can be called sacrifice,is definitely not emotional blackmail, Its just another way of expressing love, and when there are days dedicated to everyone,father,mother,friend,children,boss,doctor and possibly everyone under the sky,then why such a hulla-bulla on a day being dedicated for the husband.Its just a sweet-nothing ,for the common women to express her love for her husband.Not many couples in India can even think of a sonyVAIO or an ostrich farm as gifts,as suggested by her.Wonder if giving such expensive gifts is really an expression of affection or love!
Its shocking that she has met just one person observing the festival,when it is quite popular ,specially in north India.To shock her further, I would like her to know the ladies also fast on Chhat,Kajri-teej and Nag-Panchmi for their husbands.Does she know that mothers fast for their children too,in India
.The day is the Indian Valentines day and is spent with so much of love,fervor,doting and closeness .The husband gives gifts to his wife who dresses in new clothes,as a bride,and in turn gives gifts to her mother-in-law for giving birth to her life-partner,a gesture that I find uniquely wonderful and thoughtful.
I recommend that next year she should spend a day with a new couple observing Karva Chauth .She may like to reconsider her opinion on it and realize that fasting on that one day together may be as romantic than a hearty candle-light dinner for two in a five-star-hotel on the remaining 364 days.
She seems to have got carried away by her pro-liberated woman attitude ,to the extent of discussing this festival in the same breath with the deplorable rituals of sati and dowry deaths
To set a few doubts right,it is not a new festival but very old, and no husband has ever asked his wife for fasting for him.One day of fasting cannot be called starvation ,deprivation ,underprivileged etc.Husband join in ,with their wives,in celebrating the festival,and few even fast with their wives on this day as a mark of solidarity. Lastly,in today's health conscious times,when fasting once a week is popularly being followed , fasting once a year is hardly objectionable
Fasting , if it can be called sacrifice,is definitely not emotional blackmail, Its just another way of expressing love, and when there are days dedicated to everyone,father,mother,friend,children,boss,doctor and possibly everyone under the sky,then why such a hulla-bulla on a day being dedicated for the husband.Its just a sweet-nothing ,for the common women to express her love for her husband.Not many couples in India can even think of a sonyVAIO or an ostrich farm as gifts,as suggested by her.Wonder if giving such expensive gifts is really an expression of affection or love!
Its shocking that she has met just one person observing the festival,when it is quite popular ,specially in north India.To shock her further, I would like her to know the ladies also fast on Chhat,Kajri-teej and Nag-Panchmi for their husbands.Does she know that mothers fast for their children too,in India
.The day is the Indian Valentines day and is spent with so much of love,fervor,doting and closeness .The husband gives gifts to his wife who dresses in new clothes,as a bride,and in turn gives gifts to her mother-in-law for giving birth to her life-partner,a gesture that I find uniquely wonderful and thoughtful.
I recommend that next year she should spend a day with a new couple observing Karva Chauth .She may like to reconsider her opinion on it and realize that fasting on that one day together may be as romantic than a hearty candle-light dinner for two in a five-star-hotel on the remaining 364 days.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
LIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS
DEBATE LIVE -IN
A Live-in relation can never replace marraige.Marraige has stood the test of time since time immorial,in all countries and all societies.It may have its draw-backs or failures but these are far too outnumbered by its benefits and succes.
Marraige gives permanancy to a relation,socail acceptance,a legal family and a life-long security.If unluckily these are not found,then one is always free to walk out of it.Social acceptance to a divorce is definately more than a live-in relationship.
The number of succesful and permanant live-in-relations is far too little compared to the soured marraiges.
Live-in relation may sound attractive initially as it has no hangups,but its life is short-lived .It can never have the ethos of a man-woman relationship in totality and is incomplete.Live -in is like living lifelong in a rented house, loving without love,sex without orgasm and living without life
Inspite of all the drugery,sham and broken dreams,marraige is still wonderful
S Kapoor Lucknow
A Live-in relation can never replace marraige.Marraige has stood the test of time since time immorial,in all countries and all societies.It may have its draw-backs or failures but these are far too outnumbered by its benefits and succes.
Marraige gives permanancy to a relation,socail acceptance,a legal family and a life-long security.If unluckily these are not found,then one is always free to walk out of it.Social acceptance to a divorce is definately more than a live-in relationship.
The number of succesful and permanant live-in-relations is far too little compared to the soured marraiges.
Live-in relation may sound attractive initially as it has no hangups,but its life is short-lived .It can never have the ethos of a man-woman relationship in totality and is incomplete.Live -in is like living lifelong in a rented house, loving without love,sex without orgasm and living without life
Inspite of all the drugery,sham and broken dreams,marraige is still wonderful
S Kapoor Lucknow
Saturday, October 11, 2008
BREATHING SPACE
Commitment doesn't mean surrendering personalities
each of us are unique and have the right to live lives our way,within the norms of society and without depriving others of their rights or hurting dear and near ones
being different does not mean being indifferent
we can luv each other without aping the person we luv
we need our breathing space
Sometimes we feel relationships are all about supporting each other in times of need. That's what friends and family are for, we think.But there are times when we go overboard in our expectations. We expect their lives to hinge on our feelings and opinions.For instance, you've been ill for a while now. Is it fair to expect your family and friends to do little other than rally around you? Would you deem it disloyal if they also had a life of their own? If they did enjoy an outing, a get together would you think badly of them? Your friend has done you a grave injustice. And obviously the relationship between you both has suffered. Would you expect your mutual friends to pick up cudgels on your behalf? And have nothing to do your erstwhile friend? Or worse, fight on your behalf?It is important to remember that every person is an individual in his or her own right and is entitled to an opinion.The best way to have a lasting relationship with anyone is to be realistic in your expectations. Be it your buddy, brother or betrothed, your sister, your spouse or your parents, every one of them is entitled to make a decision that might be different from your assessment of the situation.But it is important that you do not pass judgement harshly on them. Accept people the way they are. They have to lead their own lives. And, remember, you might well do the same in their place.Your enemy's friend is not your enemy. People who feel good when you feel bad are not villains. People aren't indifferent because they think different.Your relationships will thrive a lot better if only you learn to live and let live.
sanjay
each of us are unique and have the right to live lives our way,within the norms of society and without depriving others of their rights or hurting dear and near ones
being different does not mean being indifferent
we can luv each other without aping the person we luv
we need our breathing space
Sometimes we feel relationships are all about supporting each other in times of need. That's what friends and family are for, we think.But there are times when we go overboard in our expectations. We expect their lives to hinge on our feelings and opinions.For instance, you've been ill for a while now. Is it fair to expect your family and friends to do little other than rally around you? Would you deem it disloyal if they also had a life of their own? If they did enjoy an outing, a get together would you think badly of them? Your friend has done you a grave injustice. And obviously the relationship between you both has suffered. Would you expect your mutual friends to pick up cudgels on your behalf? And have nothing to do your erstwhile friend? Or worse, fight on your behalf?It is important to remember that every person is an individual in his or her own right and is entitled to an opinion.The best way to have a lasting relationship with anyone is to be realistic in your expectations. Be it your buddy, brother or betrothed, your sister, your spouse or your parents, every one of them is entitled to make a decision that might be different from your assessment of the situation.But it is important that you do not pass judgement harshly on them. Accept people the way they are. They have to lead their own lives. And, remember, you might well do the same in their place.Your enemy's friend is not your enemy. People who feel good when you feel bad are not villains. People aren't indifferent because they think different.Your relationships will thrive a lot better if only you learn to live and let live.
sanjay
Saturday, September 27, 2008
MAHALAYA
Wish you all a very happy Mahalaya
May Maa Durga Enter your Home and your Life
Mahalaya is an auspicious occasion observed seven days before the Durga Puja, and heralds the advent of Durga, the goddess of supreme power. It's a kind of invocation or invitation to the mother goddess to descend on earth - "Jago Tumi Jago". Goddess Durga visits the earth for only four days but seven days prior to the Pujas, starts the Mahalaya. This is done through the chanting of mantras and singing devotional songs & the day thus marking the beginning of "devipaksha" and the beginning of the count-down of Durga Puja.
The day of Mahalaya is also the ‘day of remembrance’. On this day, people offer 'tarpan' in memory of their deceased forefathers. The banks of River ‘Ganga’ become sea of humanity. Priests are seen busy performing 'Tarpan' for devotees in groups. The rituals start from early dawn and end during the midday. Devotees and worshipers buy clothes and sweets to offer to their forefathers.
May Maa Durga Enter your Home and your Life
Mahalaya is an auspicious occasion observed seven days before the Durga Puja, and heralds the advent of Durga, the goddess of supreme power. It's a kind of invocation or invitation to the mother goddess to descend on earth - "Jago Tumi Jago". Goddess Durga visits the earth for only four days but seven days prior to the Pujas, starts the Mahalaya. This is done through the chanting of mantras and singing devotional songs & the day thus marking the beginning of "devipaksha" and the beginning of the count-down of Durga Puja.
The day of Mahalaya is also the ‘day of remembrance’. On this day, people offer 'tarpan' in memory of their deceased forefathers. The banks of River ‘Ganga’ become sea of humanity. Priests are seen busy performing 'Tarpan' for devotees in groups. The rituals start from early dawn and end during the midday. Devotees and worshipers buy clothes and sweets to offer to their forefathers.
GROWING TERRORISM
The Terrorist Next-door !!!!!!
The increasing frequency of terrorist attacks,and the constant threats,are not only scary but very disheartening.And the scenario becomes very grim and even more disappointing to learn that the people involved are almost next door neighbors!(cover story THE WEEK,September 28,2008)
This upsurge of terrorism,amongst the common man,living next door,is not very surprising.Religion has always been blamed and considered as the main cause of terrorism,but the present trend of terrorism in India show more of a socio-economic divide as the route cause of the increasing terrorism,more so from the local population.It is a battle of the underprivileged against the rest of the country,and its just co-incidental that most of these happen to be from a particular religion!
The story seems to have started more than five decades back,and is erupting now.Low socioeconomic status and lack of proper education lead to resorting to labor related jobs.The low income along with larger number of children compared to rest of the population,added to the crisis,leading to more mouths to be fed with less resources.This predictably,lead to further less education and early induction into jobs.The nature of education and inadequate qualifications,prevented the next generation from coming into the main stream with better jobs and elevation of social standards.This lead to a vicious cycle,poverty and lack of proper education,more children,early induction into low paying jobs leading to further poverty.
But no where can the Government or any religious group be blamed for this.While no active measures may have been taken to give reservations or create special job vacancies,there was no hindrance or reservations or discrimination against them for education or jobs either.If anything that can be blamed is their socio cultural and religious trends and beliefs that may have resulted in this wide contrast between the social status,job profiles,education and income of most of them and the majority of the rest of the progressing country.This self created disparity has lead to an frustration,which is erupting terrorism in an rage of anger
The battle is not religious,but that of fanatics with a non progressive mindset against the common man and that of the vindictive terrorist against the peace loving citizen of the country
Its only they themselves,with the help of politicians who can bridge this gap,and I pray they do it fast,to bring the peaceful normalcy back in our lives
Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
The increasing frequency of terrorist attacks,and the constant threats,are not only scary but very disheartening.And the scenario becomes very grim and even more disappointing to learn that the people involved are almost next door neighbors!(cover story THE WEEK,September 28,2008)
This upsurge of terrorism,amongst the common man,living next door,is not very surprising.Religion has always been blamed and considered as the main cause of terrorism,but the present trend of terrorism in India show more of a socio-economic divide as the route cause of the increasing terrorism,more so from the local population.It is a battle of the underprivileged against the rest of the country,and its just co-incidental that most of these happen to be from a particular religion!
The story seems to have started more than five decades back,and is erupting now.Low socioeconomic status and lack of proper education lead to resorting to labor related jobs.The low income along with larger number of children compared to rest of the population,added to the crisis,leading to more mouths to be fed with less resources.This predictably,lead to further less education and early induction into jobs.The nature of education and inadequate qualifications,prevented the next generation from coming into the main stream with better jobs and elevation of social standards.This lead to a vicious cycle,poverty and lack of proper education,more children,early induction into low paying jobs leading to further poverty.
But no where can the Government or any religious group be blamed for this.While no active measures may have been taken to give reservations or create special job vacancies,there was no hindrance or reservations or discrimination against them for education or jobs either.If anything that can be blamed is their socio cultural and religious trends and beliefs that may have resulted in this wide contrast between the social status,job profiles,education and income of most of them and the majority of the rest of the progressing country.This self created disparity has lead to an frustration,which is erupting terrorism in an rage of anger
The battle is not religious,but that of fanatics with a non progressive mindset against the common man and that of the vindictive terrorist against the peace loving citizen of the country
Its only they themselves,with the help of politicians who can bridge this gap,and I pray they do it fast,to bring the peaceful normalcy back in our lives
Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Thursday, September 25, 2008
IS VIRGINITY DEAD ???
VIRGINITY REVISITED!!!!!!!
Shoba De's article Purity rings and Palin's problem (THE WEEK Sept 28,2008)has raised three issues.Was virginity dead?The perils of experimental teenage sex and the need of sex education.
Its heartening to see the welcome comeback of chastity in the western world,and I strongly believe that virginity never died in India and I would rather say that there hasn't been any significant change in the virginity status of the youngsters in the recent years.
Virginity,though always considered to be a middle class issue,has had and has its followers,in significant numbers
Being modern does not mean disregarding virginity!
The youth today is liberated,independent,experimental and adventurous,but the values have not vanished.
In fact the education has given them more discretion and a since of responsibility,not to the society,or the family but to themselves and the partners,and not to forget the health awareness and the scare of AIDS.
Even the young,smart,rich and independent youth,with all opportunities,don't seem to be in a hurry to loose their virginity,they wait for their life partners,and when they do decide on one,then they don't mind waiting till the wedding rings!!
The issue of Palins 17 year old unmarried daughter getting pregnant,is another example of the problems of the increasing experimental teenage sex.My heart bleeds for Palin ,as it would for any mother who has a 17 year old pregnant daughter to handle,and doubly more for Sarah,who is not only pregnant at seventeen,out of experimental teenage sex,but is being asked to have the child,and marry the irresponsible boy,who made her pregnant.And all this since she happens to be a politicians daughter.But even my sincere sympathies for Palin,cannot stop me,from condemning her decision that she is imposing on her daughter.She has proved to be an irresponsible mother,who couldn't guide her daughter well,and now is actually using her as a scapegoat,for her political interests,to force her to be a mother at seventeen,and spend her life with an immature,irresponsible teenager as a husband
Both these issues re enforce the need of sex education.Had Palin,as a mother spent some time with her daughter,she may have been motivated to retain her virginity,and not to indulge in experimental teenage sex,and if she did have to do it,she would have taken necessary precautions,not to get pregnant.
Hope this too big a price being paid by Sarah,for a momentary pleasure serves to be a great deterrent for other teenagers,and an eye opener for parents to be more careful and vigilant
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Shoba De's article Purity rings and Palin's problem (THE WEEK Sept 28,2008)has raised three issues.Was virginity dead?The perils of experimental teenage sex and the need of sex education.
Its heartening to see the welcome comeback of chastity in the western world,and I strongly believe that virginity never died in India and I would rather say that there hasn't been any significant change in the virginity status of the youngsters in the recent years.
Virginity,though always considered to be a middle class issue,has had and has its followers,in significant numbers
Being modern does not mean disregarding virginity!
The youth today is liberated,independent,experimental and adventurous,but the values have not vanished.
In fact the education has given them more discretion and a since of responsibility,not to the society,or the family but to themselves and the partners,and not to forget the health awareness and the scare of AIDS.
Even the young,smart,rich and independent youth,with all opportunities,don't seem to be in a hurry to loose their virginity,they wait for their life partners,and when they do decide on one,then they don't mind waiting till the wedding rings!!
The issue of Palins 17 year old unmarried daughter getting pregnant,is another example of the problems of the increasing experimental teenage sex.My heart bleeds for Palin ,as it would for any mother who has a 17 year old pregnant daughter to handle,and doubly more for Sarah,who is not only pregnant at seventeen,out of experimental teenage sex,but is being asked to have the child,and marry the irresponsible boy,who made her pregnant.And all this since she happens to be a politicians daughter.But even my sincere sympathies for Palin,cannot stop me,from condemning her decision that she is imposing on her daughter.She has proved to be an irresponsible mother,who couldn't guide her daughter well,and now is actually using her as a scapegoat,for her political interests,to force her to be a mother at seventeen,and spend her life with an immature,irresponsible teenager as a husband
Both these issues re enforce the need of sex education.Had Palin,as a mother spent some time with her daughter,she may have been motivated to retain her virginity,and not to indulge in experimental teenage sex,and if she did have to do it,she would have taken necessary precautions,not to get pregnant.
Hope this too big a price being paid by Sarah,for a momentary pleasure serves to be a great deterrent for other teenagers,and an eye opener for parents to be more careful and vigilant
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Friday, September 12, 2008
Legal Termination of pregnancy
CATCH 22 !!
Strict discipline,many rules and stringent laws force a person to tell lies or to break law!
Since the simplest and easiest solution to most problems often,is not to follow the law!!
Mehtas did not understand this jungle law of our land and had to face the consequences
Instead of going to court for permission,all they had to do was to go to a private clinic for the abortion
( Life Beyond the Writ,OUTLOOK,Aug 18,2008)
But I salute the couple for their courage and initiative which has brought this sensitive issue infront of the whole nation and may lead to a answer for similarly distressed parents in future
I agree that the issue is not straightforward and has become a Catch 22!
Making abortions beyond 20 weeks of pregnancy,legal ,will open a floodgate for unwanted abortions.
But the problem is that chances of potentially lethal or medical problems can usually cannot be diagnosed before this time.
I also agree that this may amount to mercy killing,but there is a major difference,While in mercy killing,the matter may be of weeks or maximum months,here it may be an lifelong issue.
In today's time,when bringing up a healthy normal child is a challenge in itself,raising a medically challenged child is a Herculean task.It is not only physically,financially,mentally and emotionally taxing on the prent,but can be very distressing and painful for the child
The issue needs sincere deliberation and we have to tackle the issue emotionally and with sensitivity,without getting emotional about the 20 weeks pregnancy landmark! Besides the law makers,the medical fraternity have to play a responsible role too,to provide firm and genuine medical reports,highlighting the extent of disability and the probability of chronic medical illness.A mother has all right to prevent the sufferings of her unborn child!
May be the decision of God guide us!!
(Mrs. Mehta aborted few days after the courts verdict against the medical termination of pregnancy)
Dr S Kapoor
Strict discipline,many rules and stringent laws force a person to tell lies or to break law!
Since the simplest and easiest solution to most problems often,is not to follow the law!!
Mehtas did not understand this jungle law of our land and had to face the consequences
Instead of going to court for permission,all they had to do was to go to a private clinic for the abortion
( Life Beyond the Writ,OUTLOOK,Aug 18,2008)
But I salute the couple for their courage and initiative which has brought this sensitive issue infront of the whole nation and may lead to a answer for similarly distressed parents in future
I agree that the issue is not straightforward and has become a Catch 22!
Making abortions beyond 20 weeks of pregnancy,legal ,will open a floodgate for unwanted abortions.
But the problem is that chances of potentially lethal or medical problems can usually cannot be diagnosed before this time.
I also agree that this may amount to mercy killing,but there is a major difference,While in mercy killing,the matter may be of weeks or maximum months,here it may be an lifelong issue.
In today's time,when bringing up a healthy normal child is a challenge in itself,raising a medically challenged child is a Herculean task.It is not only physically,financially,mentally and emotionally taxing on the prent,but can be very distressing and painful for the child
The issue needs sincere deliberation and we have to tackle the issue emotionally and with sensitivity,without getting emotional about the 20 weeks pregnancy landmark! Besides the law makers,the medical fraternity have to play a responsible role too,to provide firm and genuine medical reports,highlighting the extent of disability and the probability of chronic medical illness.A mother has all right to prevent the sufferings of her unborn child!
May be the decision of God guide us!!
(Mrs. Mehta aborted few days after the courts verdict against the medical termination of pregnancy)
Dr S Kapoor
Legal Termination of pregnancy
CATCH 22 !!
Strict discipline,many rules and stringent laws force a person to tell lies or to break law!
Since the simplest and easiest solution to most problems often,is not to follow the law!!
Mehtas did not understand this jungle law of our land and had to face the consequences
Instead of going to court for permission,all they had to do was to go to a private clinic for the abortion
( Life Beyond the Writ,OUTLOOK,Aug 18,2008)
But I salute the couple for their courage and initiative which has brought this sensitive issue infront of the whole nation and may lead to a answer for similarly distressed parents in future
I agree that the issue is not straightforward and has become a Catch 22!
Making abortions beyond 20 weeks of pregnancy,legal ,will open a floodgate for unwanted abortions.
But the problem is that chances of potentially lethal or medical problems can usually cannot be diagnosed before this time.
I also agree that this may amount to mercy killing,but there is a major difference,While in mercy killing,the matter may be of weeks or maximum months,here it may be an lifelong issue.
In today's time,when bringing up a healthy normal child is a challenge in itself,raising a medically challenged child is a Herculean task.It is not only physically,financially,mentally and emotionally taxing on the prent,but can be very distressing and painful for the child
The issue needs sincere deliberation and we have to tackle the issue emotionally and with sensitivity,without getting emotional about the 20 weeks pregnancy landmark! Besides the law makers,the medical fraternity have to play a responsible role too,to provide firm and genuine medical reports,highlighting the extent of disability and the probability of chronic medical illness.A mother has all right to prevent the sufferings of her unborn child!
May be the decision of God guide us!!
(Mrs. Mehta aborted few days after the courts verdict against the medical termination of pregnancy)
Dr Sanjay Kapoor
Strict discipline,many rules and stringent laws force a person to tell lies or to break law!
Since the simplest and easiest solution to most problems often,is not to follow the law!!
Mehtas did not understand this jungle law of our land and had to face the consequences
Instead of going to court for permission,all they had to do was to go to a private clinic for the abortion
( Life Beyond the Writ,OUTLOOK,Aug 18,2008)
But I salute the couple for their courage and initiative which has brought this sensitive issue infront of the whole nation and may lead to a answer for similarly distressed parents in future
I agree that the issue is not straightforward and has become a Catch 22!
Making abortions beyond 20 weeks of pregnancy,legal ,will open a floodgate for unwanted abortions.
But the problem is that chances of potentially lethal or medical problems can usually cannot be diagnosed before this time.
I also agree that this may amount to mercy killing,but there is a major difference,While in mercy killing,the matter may be of weeks or maximum months,here it may be an lifelong issue.
In today's time,when bringing up a healthy normal child is a challenge in itself,raising a medically challenged child is a Herculean task.It is not only physically,financially,mentally and emotionally taxing on the prent,but can be very distressing and painful for the child
The issue needs sincere deliberation and we have to tackle the issue emotionally and with sensitivity,without getting emotional about the 20 weeks pregnancy landmark! Besides the law makers,the medical fraternity have to play a responsible role too,to provide firm and genuine medical reports,highlighting the extent of disability and the probability of chronic medical illness.A mother has all right to prevent the sufferings of her unborn child!
May be the decision of God guide us!!
(Mrs. Mehta aborted few days after the courts verdict against the medical termination of pregnancy)
Dr Sanjay Kapoor
Thursday, September 11, 2008
FLOODS IN BIHAR
WE NEVER LEARN !!!!!!!!!!!!
In spite of repeatedly being shaken by the fury of nature,we never seem to learn!
India has faced several natural calamities,in this decade,Tsunami,Bhuj earthquake,Mumbai Monsoons to name a few and now the deadly floods of Bihar
One very well understands that it is humanly impossible to change the course of the nature,but one totally fails to understand,why can cannot preumpt such calamities and take adequate preventive measures,or provide sufficient and timely relief when the eventuality does occur.
Even after the nerve raking Tandav of monsoon that shook the financial capital of the country,in 2005,and the cores of rupees that were invested to improve the roads and sewage of the city,Mumbai city was paralyzed for short durations every consecutive year,even after mildly excessive rains.
Even after facing such major loses in every calamity,we have failed to have a proper and strong Disaster Management Plan to face the wrath of nature.These bodies or organizations either exist only on paper,or have wasted time and money,only on unrealistic planning.There are four major obstacles in fighting these calamities,The lack of any prediction to the timing or severity of a natural calamity ,well in advance,the ping ponging of the responsibility between the center and the state,the incoordination between the relief providing agencies and finally the corruption in siphoning the funds of relief and compensation ,preventing them from reaching in totality and often even in part,to the effected population on time.
If the government does not wake up,even now,and take significant preumptive and preventive measures,along with adequate relief and rescue operations,we shall continue to have immense losses,not only of land,property and resources but of valuable lives,year after year,as with the changing ecology ,we are getting more and more prone to natural disasters.
What the government needs to do,is to have a realistic National Disaster Management Programme,with sperate sub committees for calamities like,floods,earthquake etc,headed by specialists in those particular fields..These should be having a good support of the concerned departments for timely prediction and a nodal body in every state.The center and the state should have a significant amount of budget earmarked for the planning,prevention and rescue and relief measures during a calamity,annually.Besides realistic planning,there should be a check list of actions and identification of private and government bodies ,both from center and state who can be utilized for adequate and timely relief and rescue measures.
The unimaginable apathy and the repeated slackness of all concerned,makes one wonder if this turning a blind eye,or eleventh hour reaction attitude of the government is a measure to bring down the population?May the losses and tragedy being faced by the people affected by Bihar's worst flood,leave us wiser and determined to fight such calamities,more diligently in future,unless we want to be guilty along with nature ,of the unimaginable loss and innumerable deaths
As a true citizen,let us all respond to this call of humanity,and contribute our little,but significant bit,for the victims of Bihar's Flood
Col Sanjay Kapoor VSM, Lucknow
In spite of repeatedly being shaken by the fury of nature,we never seem to learn!
India has faced several natural calamities,in this decade,Tsunami,Bhuj earthquake,Mumbai Monsoons to name a few and now the deadly floods of Bihar
One very well understands that it is humanly impossible to change the course of the nature,but one totally fails to understand,why can cannot preumpt such calamities and take adequate preventive measures,or provide sufficient and timely relief when the eventuality does occur.
Even after the nerve raking Tandav of monsoon that shook the financial capital of the country,in 2005,and the cores of rupees that were invested to improve the roads and sewage of the city,Mumbai city was paralyzed for short durations every consecutive year,even after mildly excessive rains.
Even after facing such major loses in every calamity,we have failed to have a proper and strong Disaster Management Plan to face the wrath of nature.These bodies or organizations either exist only on paper,or have wasted time and money,only on unrealistic planning.There are four major obstacles in fighting these calamities,The lack of any prediction to the timing or severity of a natural calamity ,well in advance,the ping ponging of the responsibility between the center and the state,the incoordination between the relief providing agencies and finally the corruption in siphoning the funds of relief and compensation ,preventing them from reaching in totality and often even in part,to the effected population on time.
If the government does not wake up,even now,and take significant preumptive and preventive measures,along with adequate relief and rescue operations,we shall continue to have immense losses,not only of land,property and resources but of valuable lives,year after year,as with the changing ecology ,we are getting more and more prone to natural disasters.
What the government needs to do,is to have a realistic National Disaster Management Programme,with sperate sub committees for calamities like,floods,earthquake etc,headed by specialists in those particular fields..These should be having a good support of the concerned departments for timely prediction and a nodal body in every state.The center and the state should have a significant amount of budget earmarked for the planning,prevention and rescue and relief measures during a calamity,annually.Besides realistic planning,there should be a check list of actions and identification of private and government bodies ,both from center and state who can be utilized for adequate and timely relief and rescue measures.
The unimaginable apathy and the repeated slackness of all concerned,makes one wonder if this turning a blind eye,or eleventh hour reaction attitude of the government is a measure to bring down the population?May the losses and tragedy being faced by the people affected by Bihar's worst flood,leave us wiser and determined to fight such calamities,more diligently in future,unless we want to be guilty along with nature ,of the unimaginable loss and innumerable deaths
As a true citizen,let us all respond to this call of humanity,and contribute our little,but significant bit,for the victims of Bihar's Flood
Col Sanjay Kapoor VSM, Lucknow
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
SEX AWARENESS
Sex Education is the need of the hour !
Though its an age of sexplosion,where sex has entered every phase of life,from books to magazines,TV to cinema,music to Internet and even in the common lingo,true knowledge of sex amongst kids and youngsters is far from adequate,and in fact abysmal
There is a significant lack of sexual awareness,even about the basic essentials like,the anatomy,physiology,sexual changes,sexuality,reproduction and contraception,and shockingly this is not only amongst the children of the rural background,but even amongst the educated,gown -ups,marriageable or even married,people,who have access to all the books,literature and the net
And we all are to be blamed for this,as we cannot decide the extent,to which the children are to be made aware of issues pertaining to sex.And we are still debating on issues like,what has to be told to whom,when and by whom!
When denied adequate information,the child,out of sheer curiosity or need,resorts to whatever means available,to obtain sex knowledge The various avenues of information available to the child,are pornographic literature,friends and internet,which at most times are far from adequate or satisfactory. And it is this incomplete and superficial knowledge, that is more dangerous as ignorance or inadequate knowledge leads to more problems.And that is what most of the teenagers or even youngsters have today
Sex education is the need of the hour,and the best people to impart it are parents,teachers or elder family members of the same generation,but has to be done judiciously and cautiously As it is very important to decide, what has to be told, when.
Sex education has to be phased and timed in a manner to enable the child to handle his or her sexuality without anxieties and without getting carried away by the information available on the net or from pornographic literature,and to discourage them from premature experimentation
Since charity begins at home,it hence becomes imperative for us as parents, to impart sufficient and timely sex-education to our children to enable them to handle their sexuality carefully and to be able to take the correct decision at the correct time
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Though its an age of sexplosion,where sex has entered every phase of life,from books to magazines,TV to cinema,music to Internet and even in the common lingo,true knowledge of sex amongst kids and youngsters is far from adequate,and in fact abysmal
There is a significant lack of sexual awareness,even about the basic essentials like,the anatomy,physiology,sexual changes,sexuality,reproduction and contraception,and shockingly this is not only amongst the children of the rural background,but even amongst the educated,gown -ups,marriageable or even married,people,who have access to all the books,literature and the net
And we all are to be blamed for this,as we cannot decide the extent,to which the children are to be made aware of issues pertaining to sex.And we are still debating on issues like,what has to be told to whom,when and by whom!
When denied adequate information,the child,out of sheer curiosity or need,resorts to whatever means available,to obtain sex knowledge The various avenues of information available to the child,are pornographic literature,friends and internet,which at most times are far from adequate or satisfactory. And it is this incomplete and superficial knowledge, that is more dangerous as ignorance or inadequate knowledge leads to more problems.And that is what most of the teenagers or even youngsters have today
Sex education is the need of the hour,and the best people to impart it are parents,teachers or elder family members of the same generation,but has to be done judiciously and cautiously As it is very important to decide, what has to be told, when.
Sex education has to be phased and timed in a manner to enable the child to handle his or her sexuality without anxieties and without getting carried away by the information available on the net or from pornographic literature,and to discourage them from premature experimentation
Since charity begins at home,it hence becomes imperative for us as parents, to impart sufficient and timely sex-education to our children to enable them to handle their sexuality carefully and to be able to take the correct decision at the correct time
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
contraversies in mythology
RAM AND SITA( posted be dr rajeev ranjan )
MANY WIVES TO God RAMA!!!!!Mr. C.R. Sreenivasa Iyengar's translation of Valmiki Ramayana says:1.Though Rama had married Sita to be the queen, he married many otherwives for sexual pleasure in accordance with the royal customs (AyothiaKandam 8.. Chapter, Page 28). The term Rama's wives has been usedmany places in Ramayana.HOW God RAMA BROKE THE BOW?The bow that was broken by Rama was Sita's. This bow was already abroken one. (Refer Abidhana Chintamani Paged157,331,57l, 663,894,1151, 1173 and 1494).24. This is supported by various Ramayanas and PrasummHOW God RAMA ENJOYED?God Rama narrated his own brother (Lakshman) how he enjoyed his wifeSita (Kisikinda kandam . Chapter 1 Pages 2,4,5,6 & 7). (For deeney.ssake, we didn.t elaborate these chapters).GOD RAMA SUSPECTED SITA!
God Rama asked Sita.How could Ravana have left you (during these 12years) without being seduced?Sita replied. .True! But what could 1 do? i am only a weaker sex. My bodywas in RAVANA's possession. I did not do anything wrong WILLINGLY.However, mentally I was with you. It was only divine will. But she did notassert herself that .Ravana has not seduced me.. (Uttara Kandam, Chapter118).
GOD RAMA ABANDONED SITA!
Seeing her pregnancy Rama.s doubt increased. Rama asked her toplunge herself into the fire and come out to prove her chastity. Eventhough Sita had under gone this trial prescribed by Rama, yet Ramafound out Sita.s pregnancy. Rama took shelter under the charge made bythe citizen and ordered his brother Lakshman to take Sita to the forestand leave her there. Then Sita showing her abdomen to Lakshmana said,.See my stomach! My pregnancy is four months old. (Uttara Kandam,Chapter 118)SITAS RESPECT TO God RAMA!!!1.Sita told Rama You are no better than a woman monger who lets his wifefor hire and makes his livelihood. You want to be profited by myPROSTITUTION. . Sita also told Rama .You lack impotence manners andcharm.. .She called her husband a simpleton..Sita having scented that Rama was always suspicious of her conductexclaimed .Rama! You are my savior! In none but yourself I repose mylove. This many a time I swear by you; yet you do not believe me!Rama said I tested you. (6,7,8,9,10 & 11 Ayothia Kandam, Chapter 30).2.Rama having in mind her pompousness and fragility of mind directed herthat she should strip off all her ornaments if she were to accompany himthe forest. Sita did accordingly but again she put on some other jewelswithout the knowledge of Rama (Ayothia Kanda, Chapter 30)3. Kausalya who was noticing this advised Sita to behave like a bobble andvirtuous lady. Do not disregarded your husband's worth.. Sita insolentlyreplied to her mother-in-law, .I know all this.. Yet she did not removeher jewels (Ayothia Kandarn, Chapter 37).4. She prayed to the river while crossing it ..Oh! River! If I return safely toayothia I will offer you a thousand cows and a thousand pots of toddy..(Ayothia Kandam, Chapter 52).5. Whenever Rama was languishing in the disappearance of Sita, Lakshmanacasually remarked. .Why do you bother yourself for an ordinary woman?.(Aranya Kandam Chapter 66).6. Lakshxnana expressed that Sita was a woman of questionable character.(Aranya Kandani, Chapter 18).7. When Lakshmana expressed that Sita was a woman of questionablecharacter. (Aranya Kandam, Chapter 18).8. As soon as Sita stepped into Ravana's palace her love towards Ravanagrew more (AranyaKandam, Chapter 54).9. When at length Rama asked Sita to swear, she declined and died. (lttarakandam, Chapter 97).10. Kukuvavthy, sister-in-law of Rama said to him .Oh! Elder! How you loveSita more than you love yourself. Come with me and see what really is inyour lovely wife.s heart. Still she could not forget that fellow Ravana.Drawings picture of Ravana on a hand-fan and pressing it closely to herbreast. She is lying on your bed with eyes closed thinking on andrejoicing at Ravana.s glories. Rama sighed and went out to Sita.sapartment. She was found sleeping pressing her breast the hand-fan inwhich Ravana.s picture was drawn. This is found in pages 199, 200 ofBangali Ramayana written by Mrs. Chandravathi.
MANY WIVES TO God RAMA!!!!!Mr. C.R. Sreenivasa Iyengar's translation of Valmiki Ramayana says:1.Though Rama had married Sita to be the queen, he married many otherwives for sexual pleasure in accordance with the royal customs (AyothiaKandam 8.. Chapter, Page 28). The term Rama's wives has been usedmany places in Ramayana.HOW God RAMA BROKE THE BOW?The bow that was broken by Rama was Sita's. This bow was already abroken one. (Refer Abidhana Chintamani Paged157,331,57l, 663,894,1151, 1173 and 1494).24. This is supported by various Ramayanas and PrasummHOW God RAMA ENJOYED?God Rama narrated his own brother (Lakshman) how he enjoyed his wifeSita (Kisikinda kandam . Chapter 1 Pages 2,4,5,6 & 7). (For deeney.ssake, we didn.t elaborate these chapters).GOD RAMA SUSPECTED SITA!
God Rama asked Sita.How could Ravana have left you (during these 12years) without being seduced?Sita replied. .True! But what could 1 do? i am only a weaker sex. My bodywas in RAVANA's possession. I did not do anything wrong WILLINGLY.However, mentally I was with you. It was only divine will. But she did notassert herself that .Ravana has not seduced me.. (Uttara Kandam, Chapter118).
GOD RAMA ABANDONED SITA!
Seeing her pregnancy Rama.s doubt increased. Rama asked her toplunge herself into the fire and come out to prove her chastity. Eventhough Sita had under gone this trial prescribed by Rama, yet Ramafound out Sita.s pregnancy. Rama took shelter under the charge made bythe citizen and ordered his brother Lakshman to take Sita to the forestand leave her there. Then Sita showing her abdomen to Lakshmana said,.See my stomach! My pregnancy is four months old. (Uttara Kandam,Chapter 118)SITAS RESPECT TO God RAMA!!!1.Sita told Rama You are no better than a woman monger who lets his wifefor hire and makes his livelihood. You want to be profited by myPROSTITUTION. . Sita also told Rama .You lack impotence manners andcharm.. .She called her husband a simpleton..Sita having scented that Rama was always suspicious of her conductexclaimed .Rama! You are my savior! In none but yourself I repose mylove. This many a time I swear by you; yet you do not believe me!Rama said I tested you. (6,7,8,9,10 & 11 Ayothia Kandam, Chapter 30).2.Rama having in mind her pompousness and fragility of mind directed herthat she should strip off all her ornaments if she were to accompany himthe forest. Sita did accordingly but again she put on some other jewelswithout the knowledge of Rama (Ayothia Kanda, Chapter 30)3. Kausalya who was noticing this advised Sita to behave like a bobble andvirtuous lady. Do not disregarded your husband's worth.. Sita insolentlyreplied to her mother-in-law, .I know all this.. Yet she did not removeher jewels (Ayothia Kandarn, Chapter 37).4. She prayed to the river while crossing it ..Oh! River! If I return safely toayothia I will offer you a thousand cows and a thousand pots of toddy..(Ayothia Kandam, Chapter 52).5. Whenever Rama was languishing in the disappearance of Sita, Lakshmanacasually remarked. .Why do you bother yourself for an ordinary woman?.(Aranya Kandam Chapter 66).6. Lakshxnana expressed that Sita was a woman of questionable character.(Aranya Kandani, Chapter 18).7. When Lakshmana expressed that Sita was a woman of questionablecharacter. (Aranya Kandam, Chapter 18).8. As soon as Sita stepped into Ravana's palace her love towards Ravanagrew more (AranyaKandam, Chapter 54).9. When at length Rama asked Sita to swear, she declined and died. (lttarakandam, Chapter 97).10. Kukuvavthy, sister-in-law of Rama said to him .Oh! Elder! How you loveSita more than you love yourself. Come with me and see what really is inyour lovely wife.s heart. Still she could not forget that fellow Ravana.Drawings picture of Ravana on a hand-fan and pressing it closely to herbreast. She is lying on your bed with eyes closed thinking on andrejoicing at Ravana.s glories. Rama sighed and went out to Sita.sapartment. She was found sleeping pressing her breast the hand-fan inwhich Ravana.s picture was drawn. This is found in pages 199, 200 ofBangali Ramayana written by Mrs. Chandravathi.
INCREASING DIVORCE RATES
A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD!
Marriage is one of the oldest social institutions,which has stood the test of time but has undergone a triphasic change over the last few decades,and now its very existence is being threatened by the demon of Divorce
The divorce rate is increasing and this increase is being appreciated in all strata of the society(Chop and change-The Sexes,THE WEEK,September 15,2008)
Though it is a very welcome relief,for the ladies,who often had to continue to be abused,mentally,financially,physically and even sexually in a so called marraige,just for the lack of courage or opportunity to demand and get a Divorce! Today,divorce and even re-marraige are being accepted by the society,and the two major factors that made it possible,are woman empowerment, and financial Independence and the social acceptance.But everything good has a flip side too.The Independence of woman,the ease in getting a divorce and re marraige,are a great deterrent to adjustments,compromises and in fact are redefining the definition of a marraige !
Originally the marriage had fixed water tight roles ,consisting of a man who provided the protection and was almost the master,of his wife who obeyed without questioning his supremacy.
As times passed and poeple became educated,the marriage saw a welcome change of companionship between the spouses with a willing agreement of sharing the responsibilities of the family,in and outside the house
And the third change ,which has recently creeped in,has reduced marriage to a undesireable state of contract of convenience where two independent individuals spend time under the same roof,often supposedly,leading their own lives,without any emotional bond or social obligation,and with ever-ready bags to move out,not only of the house but the life of the spouse.
The major reason of this is the upwardly mobile attitude of man and woman,with career taking over family and money over emotions.The woman is no longer dependent on the man,and either can buy any pleasure in life ,even though temporarily ,by virtue of their money or status.With surrogate mothers and artificial insemination,and easy laws of adoption even the biological reason of reproduction,for marraige has been terminated.
This is however a very sad state of affairs,as independent or single living lasts till one is young,Divorce not only has a unrepairable detremental impact on the kids but leaves the person desperately lonely in old age ,to die alone in an old age home or a five star nursing home!
Every person should work hard in their relationship with their spouse to keep the marriage happily on,and to fight this alarmingly increasing incident of divorce
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Marriage is one of the oldest social institutions,which has stood the test of time but has undergone a triphasic change over the last few decades,and now its very existence is being threatened by the demon of Divorce
The divorce rate is increasing and this increase is being appreciated in all strata of the society(Chop and change-The Sexes,THE WEEK,September 15,2008)
Though it is a very welcome relief,for the ladies,who often had to continue to be abused,mentally,financially,physically and even sexually in a so called marraige,just for the lack of courage or opportunity to demand and get a Divorce! Today,divorce and even re-marraige are being accepted by the society,and the two major factors that made it possible,are woman empowerment, and financial Independence and the social acceptance.But everything good has a flip side too.The Independence of woman,the ease in getting a divorce and re marraige,are a great deterrent to adjustments,compromises and in fact are redefining the definition of a marraige !
Originally the marriage had fixed water tight roles ,consisting of a man who provided the protection and was almost the master,of his wife who obeyed without questioning his supremacy.
As times passed and poeple became educated,the marriage saw a welcome change of companionship between the spouses with a willing agreement of sharing the responsibilities of the family,in and outside the house
And the third change ,which has recently creeped in,has reduced marriage to a undesireable state of contract of convenience where two independent individuals spend time under the same roof,often supposedly,leading their own lives,without any emotional bond or social obligation,and with ever-ready bags to move out,not only of the house but the life of the spouse.
The major reason of this is the upwardly mobile attitude of man and woman,with career taking over family and money over emotions.The woman is no longer dependent on the man,and either can buy any pleasure in life ,even though temporarily ,by virtue of their money or status.With surrogate mothers and artificial insemination,and easy laws of adoption even the biological reason of reproduction,for marraige has been terminated.
This is however a very sad state of affairs,as independent or single living lasts till one is young,Divorce not only has a unrepairable detremental impact on the kids but leaves the person desperately lonely in old age ,to die alone in an old age home or a five star nursing home!
Every person should work hard in their relationship with their spouse to keep the marriage happily on,and to fight this alarmingly increasing incident of divorce
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Sunday, September 7, 2008
IS INDIA REALLY PROGRESSING ??????????????
JUST ONE SIDE OF THE COIN !!!!!!!!!!!
My heartiest congrtaulations to the institutes and people,contributing in making India work,grow and become a great nation
Bur is India really progressing?
The country is working,and is growing,but there is another side to this story too.areas which are deprived of the growth and shine of the country,and which continue to be in the darkness of backwardness
There is lots to boast of,and lots to show-off!
India is progressing,but without sounding a pessimist or a leftist ,I cannot resist but to say that though progress in every field is being appreciated, this progress is not uniform and not in all spheres and all fields.Growth is welcome,and is being felt too,nationally and internationally but it is not universal!!
Improvement in lifestyle and elevation of standards are not only being seen but are dazzling the eyes,but this improvement is seen in a small section of the country and amongst a very small part of the population
Almost half of the Indian population is still deprived of the basic amenities,like,food,home and drinking water leave alone education,electrification and medical facilities,which also are almost the basic right of every citizen of a so called progressing country!
Even in a city like Delhi,which looks like a model of progress and wealth,the recent census showed that only 7.5% Delhites fall in the upper income group,even when the grading has been made on a very stringent scale ,where to qualify for this elite class one has to fall in the group with a monthly expenditure of just over Rs 3500 per person.This amount is peanuts for Delhi,and is a stark indicator of the struggle ,the majority have to undergo,for survival in Delhi,Mumbai,metros or in most of the cities and villages of India for day to day survival.
IPL matches were a great entertainment,and so are other such lavish events,where we spend over a couple of thousand crores for each,but how much of this goes to the common man.Some people do make a livelihood from these events,but majority goes in the pockets of organizers,sponsers etc,The rich are the actual beneficiaries from such megaevents and projects!
Leave alone the financial and monetary stagnation,a major part of the population and society is affected by social maladies like,child labor,female featicide,selling of daughters,flesh trade,AIDS etc,Can we call ourselves progressed,progressive or even progressing in this scenario?
The rich becoming richer,and Ambanis featuring in the list of top rich people of the world,is no indicator of progress.
We can sleep comfortable only if every Indian has a roof,drinking water,food,electricity ,education and medical aid and above all a safe and healthy society and surrounding to live in
And this is more distant than one can imagine
and can be achieved not only by pumping in of money from the exchequer ,but by fair governance and a responsible role,played by every Indian
So lets join hands,in contributing our little,but significant share,in the progress of our dear country!
Its miles to go,before we sleep . . . . . . . .
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
My heartiest congrtaulations to the institutes and people,contributing in making India work,grow and become a great nation
Bur is India really progressing?
The country is working,and is growing,but there is another side to this story too.areas which are deprived of the growth and shine of the country,and which continue to be in the darkness of backwardness
There is lots to boast of,and lots to show-off!
India is progressing,but without sounding a pessimist or a leftist ,I cannot resist but to say that though progress in every field is being appreciated, this progress is not uniform and not in all spheres and all fields.Growth is welcome,and is being felt too,nationally and internationally but it is not universal!!
Improvement in lifestyle and elevation of standards are not only being seen but are dazzling the eyes,but this improvement is seen in a small section of the country and amongst a very small part of the population
Almost half of the Indian population is still deprived of the basic amenities,like,food,home and drinking water leave alone education,electrification and medical facilities,which also are almost the basic right of every citizen of a so called progressing country!
Even in a city like Delhi,which looks like a model of progress and wealth,the recent census showed that only 7.5% Delhites fall in the upper income group,even when the grading has been made on a very stringent scale ,where to qualify for this elite class one has to fall in the group with a monthly expenditure of just over Rs 3500 per person.This amount is peanuts for Delhi,and is a stark indicator of the struggle ,the majority have to undergo,for survival in Delhi,Mumbai,metros or in most of the cities and villages of India for day to day survival.
IPL matches were a great entertainment,and so are other such lavish events,where we spend over a couple of thousand crores for each,but how much of this goes to the common man.Some people do make a livelihood from these events,but majority goes in the pockets of organizers,sponsers etc,The rich are the actual beneficiaries from such megaevents and projects!
Leave alone the financial and monetary stagnation,a major part of the population and society is affected by social maladies like,child labor,female featicide,selling of daughters,flesh trade,AIDS etc,Can we call ourselves progressed,progressive or even progressing in this scenario?
The rich becoming richer,and Ambanis featuring in the list of top rich people of the world,is no indicator of progress.
We can sleep comfortable only if every Indian has a roof,drinking water,food,electricity ,education and medical aid and above all a safe and healthy society and surrounding to live in
And this is more distant than one can imagine
and can be achieved not only by pumping in of money from the exchequer ,but by fair governance and a responsible role,played by every Indian
So lets join hands,in contributing our little,but significant share,in the progress of our dear country!
Its miles to go,before we sleep . . . . . . . .
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
INTRAPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
KNOW YOURSELF,BEFORE LOVING SELF OR OTHERS
Knowing yourself is the initial mandatory requirement, rather than loving oneself, before you start loving someone else.
To love self or to love someone else, it is essential that one knows oneself well, The knowledge of our strengths, our weaknesses, our capability of adjustments, sharing, cooperation and our ability to accept the others is the basic requirement to start any relationship, We must know the expectations we have, if any, in that relationship and our limitations to go into a relationship with someone superior or less privileged than us, without getting complexes
For this, spending time with oneself and analyzing ones own views are a must. Loving self can follow but only after we know ourselves well and this should be done cautiously, Loving oneself without knowing self can be dangerous. Once we start loving ourselves then it becomes difficult to adjust in most relationships. We are then a bit difficult to accept views of others and even healthy criticism
Men are definitely as emotional as women, if not more, and they should not hesitate in expressing it, provided the expressed emotions are genuine, Fake emotions lead to fake relationships. Even fake and halfhearted acceptances and patches can be dangerous for any relationship. Anger though a common emotion, should not be the only one to be expressed to show possessiveness or hurt
Know yourself, know the other and then get into a relationship. Love will automatically follow, But let knowing self and other be a continuous process, Age, time circumstances and commitments keep changing every individual, and accepting these is essential for continuation of any healthy relationship
Knowing yourself is the initial mandatory requirement, rather than loving oneself, before you start loving someone else.
To love self or to love someone else, it is essential that one knows oneself well, The knowledge of our strengths, our weaknesses, our capability of adjustments, sharing, cooperation and our ability to accept the others is the basic requirement to start any relationship, We must know the expectations we have, if any, in that relationship and our limitations to go into a relationship with someone superior or less privileged than us, without getting complexes
For this, spending time with oneself and analyzing ones own views are a must. Loving self can follow but only after we know ourselves well and this should be done cautiously, Loving oneself without knowing self can be dangerous. Once we start loving ourselves then it becomes difficult to adjust in most relationships. We are then a bit difficult to accept views of others and even healthy criticism
Men are definitely as emotional as women, if not more, and they should not hesitate in expressing it, provided the expressed emotions are genuine, Fake emotions lead to fake relationships. Even fake and halfhearted acceptances and patches can be dangerous for any relationship. Anger though a common emotion, should not be the only one to be expressed to show possessiveness or hurt
Know yourself, know the other and then get into a relationship. Love will automatically follow, But let knowing self and other be a continuous process, Age, time circumstances and commitments keep changing every individual, and accepting these is essential for continuation of any healthy relationship
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
KIDS FREE ZONES
Leave the Kids Alone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think we are unnecessarily giving too much importance to the issue of Kids Free Zones.(TOI-Sept,2008)
It seems to be a debateless issue,as both the arguments sound logical!
Being from the army,the concept of kids free zones or parties without children,is nothing new to me.
Kids are not permitted in the army messes during official and regimental functions and in certain messes not permitted in the main complex,at all.Swimming pools ,gyms and other game courts of most clubs have separate timings for kids and adults.
We seem to be over-reacting to the presence of kids and getting into an avoidable debate.
I fully understand the sanctity of official meetings,of the need of undisturbed environment for unwinding and the importance for solitude,during special occasions like a Candle light dinner on a table for two!
At the same time partying without kids,for most of us would really not be fun.Its a pleasure not only spending an evening out with your kids,but just seeing kids around.
The restaurants,resorts,or hotels which are considering this ideas,are as it is the ones where there are always more than one rooms , halls,enclosures or even gardens.People seeking privacy or distance from kids,can be easily be entertained in these areas,without disturbing the existing normal, free for all age set-up.In stead of creating kid free zones,and increasing the problems of parents of nuclear families with small kids,one should create all kids zones,or crèches where the kids are provided the same facilities as the adults,and even help to look after them,within the campus of the restaurant,hotel or club.This would also provide the kids some company and an opportunity to mingle with other kids of their age.
With most kids becoming too choosy as it is as to where they are being taken and with whom,and getting out of the habit of tagging along with parents,I think we should let things be as they are,with just a little more attention to cater to needs of solitude seekers for personal or official purposes
Dr Sanjay Kapoor
I think we are unnecessarily giving too much importance to the issue of Kids Free Zones.(TOI-Sept,2008)
It seems to be a debateless issue,as both the arguments sound logical!
Being from the army,the concept of kids free zones or parties without children,is nothing new to me.
Kids are not permitted in the army messes during official and regimental functions and in certain messes not permitted in the main complex,at all.Swimming pools ,gyms and other game courts of most clubs have separate timings for kids and adults.
We seem to be over-reacting to the presence of kids and getting into an avoidable debate.
I fully understand the sanctity of official meetings,of the need of undisturbed environment for unwinding and the importance for solitude,during special occasions like a Candle light dinner on a table for two!
At the same time partying without kids,for most of us would really not be fun.Its a pleasure not only spending an evening out with your kids,but just seeing kids around.
The restaurants,resorts,or hotels which are considering this ideas,are as it is the ones where there are always more than one rooms , halls,enclosures or even gardens.People seeking privacy or distance from kids,can be easily be entertained in these areas,without disturbing the existing normal, free for all age set-up.In stead of creating kid free zones,and increasing the problems of parents of nuclear families with small kids,one should create all kids zones,or crèches where the kids are provided the same facilities as the adults,and even help to look after them,within the campus of the restaurant,hotel or club.This would also provide the kids some company and an opportunity to mingle with other kids of their age.
With most kids becoming too choosy as it is as to where they are being taken and with whom,and getting out of the habit of tagging along with parents,I think we should let things be as they are,with just a little more attention to cater to needs of solitude seekers for personal or official purposes
Dr Sanjay Kapoor
TODAY'S RAUNCHY CULTURE
The New Female Avtar
The sexuality and seductiveness of women,of this land of Maneka and Kamasutra,has existed from time immorable.
It had been suppressed over the last few decades by the male dominated social taboos.
What is happening today,(Who's Afraid of SEX ? (Cover story),THE WEEK,Sept 7,2008 )is just a revival of the ancient sensuality on the females
Thanks to the innumerable coffee-table magazines,replete with articles on sex,the woman of today has suddenly recognized her much ignored sexual desires and requirements,and want to experiment it all. These desires are as natural as those of the male ,and need to be addressed with efforts by all men.
Male strip tease kitty parties,pornography in girls hostel,and even male prostitution is on the rise,and women of all ages would like to experiment their newly acquired skills with their permanent or temporary partners.
Gone are the days when women were talking just of foreplay,today the stress is on afterplay too,with Woman On Top,being the mantra of the day!. The men have to work hard today,to get rid of their bang-bang-thank-you-maam tendency,to give their bedtime story a happy ending and they better beware and pull up their socks to master and improve their bedtime skills if they want their heroines not to step out,looking for it ,in other peoples bedroom.
Besides becoming aware of their sexuality and sexual needs,woman have also obtained the expertise and learned the tricks of trade,to enjoy this beautiful emotion of sex,and are ready to demand and even buy it,if needed.
They have also realized the worth of their body,looks,figure,and sex appeal and want to encash on it,to the maximum.
And why not ? Why should the God's gift and the acquired skill go a waste or be used free ??
A very warm welcome to the raunchy female of today,on behalf of all the ogling hungry men!
Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
The sexuality and seductiveness of women,of this land of Maneka and Kamasutra,has existed from time immorable.
It had been suppressed over the last few decades by the male dominated social taboos.
What is happening today,(Who's Afraid of SEX ? (Cover story),THE WEEK,Sept 7,2008 )is just a revival of the ancient sensuality on the females
Thanks to the innumerable coffee-table magazines,replete with articles on sex,the woman of today has suddenly recognized her much ignored sexual desires and requirements,and want to experiment it all. These desires are as natural as those of the male ,and need to be addressed with efforts by all men.
Male strip tease kitty parties,pornography in girls hostel,and even male prostitution is on the rise,and women of all ages would like to experiment their newly acquired skills with their permanent or temporary partners.
Gone are the days when women were talking just of foreplay,today the stress is on afterplay too,with Woman On Top,being the mantra of the day!. The men have to work hard today,to get rid of their bang-bang-thank-you-maam tendency,to give their bedtime story a happy ending and they better beware and pull up their socks to master and improve their bedtime skills if they want their heroines not to step out,looking for it ,in other peoples bedroom.
Besides becoming aware of their sexuality and sexual needs,woman have also obtained the expertise and learned the tricks of trade,to enjoy this beautiful emotion of sex,and are ready to demand and even buy it,if needed.
They have also realized the worth of their body,looks,figure,and sex appeal and want to encash on it,to the maximum.
And why not ? Why should the God's gift and the acquired skill go a waste or be used free ??
A very warm welcome to the raunchy female of today,on behalf of all the ogling hungry men!
Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Monday, September 1, 2008
TEENAGE EXPERIMENTAL SEX
Experimental Sex!!!!!!!!!!!
Was really shocked at the Times View on their report,"SC convicts boy for sex with 16-yr-old girlfriend"
TOI reported that SC has granted three years of imprisonment to a boy,now man,who ran away with his 16 year old girl friend and had sex with her and was charged with rape,as sex even with consent with minor amounts to rape!
TOI in their view seem to disagree with the SC and feel that the "legal system should take a more lenient view towards consensual sex between teenagers-specially those their late teens,as in this case."They further go to support their view with the logic that "Sexual awareness-and experimentation-is on the rise among Indian teenagers!"
I had really welcomed the Times View ,started recently,where TOI gives its opinion on news,specially on page 1 and had almost always found it to be very reasonable,impartial,logical and progressive.But was actually taken aback today reading this view,which is a very irresponsible statement!
Awareness and Experimentation are two contradictory aspects of sex.A teenager who is actually aware of sex and sexuality will never experiment on sexual issues prematurely and definitely not in teens.Leave alone in India,but in any country,sex amongst teenagers cannot be overlooked,leave alone being encouraged.I feel the man should have been given the seven years punishment that he deserved,which was decreased on the plea of the girls father.A stern punishment would have been some deterrent to others to refrain from such activities.The relaxation may however would have been justified,had the two married subsequently,though no mention of this has been made in the report
Teenage sex is no sign of progression,rather of regression and is an indicator of uneducated and irresponsible teenagers who can be a threat to the integrity of the normal fiber of the society.This premature sexual indulgence has to be condoned by all,and all steps ought to be taken to ensure that teenagers refrain from such experimentation! Everything has a time,and anything done outside the time frame,has ill effects.Leave alone the ethical or moral issues,it is dangerous on medical grounds too,as it may lead to unwanted pregnancies,promiscuity,a casual attitude to sex and sex partners,risks of sexually transmitted diseases and increase in the rate of sex crimes
Without sounding idealistic,I dont want to believe that these things don't exists,but giving them a social and even a legal sanction is unimaginable.Hence it is the moral duty of each one of us,as a parent,a teacher,an elder,and media to impart sex education to every child to understand the importance of sex and the demerits of untimely sexual indulgence.Every teenager should be made sexually aware,to handle his or her sexuality judiciously,rather than indulge in experimental sex!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Was really shocked at the Times View on their report,"SC convicts boy for sex with 16-yr-old girlfriend"
TOI reported that SC has granted three years of imprisonment to a boy,now man,who ran away with his 16 year old girl friend and had sex with her and was charged with rape,as sex even with consent with minor amounts to rape!
TOI in their view seem to disagree with the SC and feel that the "legal system should take a more lenient view towards consensual sex between teenagers-specially those their late teens,as in this case."They further go to support their view with the logic that "Sexual awareness-and experimentation-is on the rise among Indian teenagers!"
I had really welcomed the Times View ,started recently,where TOI gives its opinion on news,specially on page 1 and had almost always found it to be very reasonable,impartial,logical and progressive.But was actually taken aback today reading this view,which is a very irresponsible statement!
Awareness and Experimentation are two contradictory aspects of sex.A teenager who is actually aware of sex and sexuality will never experiment on sexual issues prematurely and definitely not in teens.Leave alone in India,but in any country,sex amongst teenagers cannot be overlooked,leave alone being encouraged.I feel the man should have been given the seven years punishment that he deserved,which was decreased on the plea of the girls father.A stern punishment would have been some deterrent to others to refrain from such activities.The relaxation may however would have been justified,had the two married subsequently,though no mention of this has been made in the report
Teenage sex is no sign of progression,rather of regression and is an indicator of uneducated and irresponsible teenagers who can be a threat to the integrity of the normal fiber of the society.This premature sexual indulgence has to be condoned by all,and all steps ought to be taken to ensure that teenagers refrain from such experimentation! Everything has a time,and anything done outside the time frame,has ill effects.Leave alone the ethical or moral issues,it is dangerous on medical grounds too,as it may lead to unwanted pregnancies,promiscuity,a casual attitude to sex and sex partners,risks of sexually transmitted diseases and increase in the rate of sex crimes
Without sounding idealistic,I dont want to believe that these things don't exists,but giving them a social and even a legal sanction is unimaginable.Hence it is the moral duty of each one of us,as a parent,a teacher,an elder,and media to impart sex education to every child to understand the importance of sex and the demerits of untimely sexual indulgence.Every teenager should be made sexually aware,to handle his or her sexuality judiciously,rather than indulge in experimental sex!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
Sunday, August 31, 2008
SOUL FRACTURES
SOUL FRACTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soul fractures are more common than the routine injuries and almost all of us must have experienced them at various stages of life,in varying intensities.To treat them too,is a more difficult task than to tackle the routine bony injuries.Though the common notion is to relate to a soul fracture being caused by a lover, it may be from any soul mate. Such a breach in relationships may be from spouses,siblings,parents,children,friends,teachers, students or anyone for that matter.This is one ailment where the good old proverb of - prevention better than cure,is most aptly suited.I suggest the following to prevent heartbreaks or soul fractures in any relationship .
Add meaning to every relationship--don't have a relationship for the sake of social commitment.Make friends in relatives and make relatives in friends
Give time - let the relationship grow,love at first sight usually happens only in movies and novels
Never take someone for granted
Breathing space - give the other person adequate privacy and time for personal life
Be a friend - don't go looking for a friend ,be one and the world will be full of friends
Shed off load - don't carry the burden of dying relationships End them if they are not viable
Work on them - one has to keep working on every relationship to keep it alive,or it will not last for long
Be expressive - communication and expression of love and emotions is mandatory for the sustenance of any relationship
Be prepared - no relationship is beyond the danger of souring so go all out to nurture it
Acceptance - accept your friend as it is with minimal changes,if you want to be accepted,Basic temperament of a person cannot changed
Give all your love to all your relationships to prevent your soul from being fractured
Sanjay Kapoor
Soul fractures are more common than the routine injuries and almost all of us must have experienced them at various stages of life,in varying intensities.To treat them too,is a more difficult task than to tackle the routine bony injuries.Though the common notion is to relate to a soul fracture being caused by a lover, it may be from any soul mate. Such a breach in relationships may be from spouses,siblings,parents,children,friends,teachers, students or anyone for that matter.This is one ailment where the good old proverb of - prevention better than cure,is most aptly suited.I suggest the following to prevent heartbreaks or soul fractures in any relationship .
Add meaning to every relationship--don't have a relationship for the sake of social commitment.Make friends in relatives and make relatives in friends
Give time - let the relationship grow,love at first sight usually happens only in movies and novels
Never take someone for granted
Breathing space - give the other person adequate privacy and time for personal life
Be a friend - don't go looking for a friend ,be one and the world will be full of friends
Shed off load - don't carry the burden of dying relationships End them if they are not viable
Work on them - one has to keep working on every relationship to keep it alive,or it will not last for long
Be expressive - communication and expression of love and emotions is mandatory for the sustenance of any relationship
Be prepared - no relationship is beyond the danger of souring so go all out to nurture it
Acceptance - accept your friend as it is with minimal changes,if you want to be accepted,Basic temperament of a person cannot changed
Give all your love to all your relationships to prevent your soul from being fractured
Sanjay Kapoor
AIDS CONTROL IN INDIA
BOOK WITH A MISSION !!!!!!!!!!!!
AIDS Sutra-Untold stories From India,is a compilation of 14 essays/stories to highlight the unimaginable epidemic of AIDS and the suffering of those affected by it in our country.Having read two of these fourteen,I was really touched by the realism of the presentation and reading about the AIDS victims,specially the plight of sex-workers in India was not surprising but actually shameful and shocking
The three groups most vulnerable to these diseases are the sexworkers,trans-sexuals (hijras) and homosexuals.
The common factor for all of them is unprotected sex with multiple partners and the root cause for this,is most cases is the society
Most of the commercial sex-workers are forced into flesh trade due to financial compulsions and are inducted into this at a stage or age when they cannot take a decision,and without consent. It is the onus of the parents,society,NGOs,social workers and the government to come forward to their rescue
Parents who cannot afford to bring up a female child due to poverty should try to find a job for them, after the age of 14.There is a great need of maids,domestic help and baby-sitters in the society today.This is a much better alternative for girls and women being forced to prostitution.They can look forward to a more dignified and respectable living in this situation.
Its tragic that the existence of the sexworkers cannot be eradicated,but we can all contribute in decreasing this menace and the plight,The government and all concerned should put in all endeavors to atleast minimize the number of sexworkers,improve their living standards,prevent their exploitation and to extend them adequate medical cover,Schemes for rehabilitation of sex-workers is mandatory,too
The hijras too,resort to sex for a livelihood,and hence all efforts should be made to provide them opportunities for jobs or self employment.A reservation in job vacancies for trans-sexuals may be a highly beneficial move,to provide them with job opportunities
Most of the homosexuals indulge in sex with multiple partners usually out of desperation,as the family,society and the Government denies them the choice for a long term relationship,leave alone marriage.Acceptance by society and relaxation of laws for encouraging this,are the need of the hour to increase the practice of monogamy in homosexuals
We should not forget that AIDS patients are the main source of the spreading epidemic of AIDS and hence helping them is actually helping the society and the mankind in general.I just hope that the cries of AIDS victims and the plight of those prone to be affected by this deadly disease,echoes through this book to shatter the deafness of the government and to break the slumber of the society to fight this killer demon of AIDS!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
AIDS Sutra-Untold stories From India,is a compilation of 14 essays/stories to highlight the unimaginable epidemic of AIDS and the suffering of those affected by it in our country.Having read two of these fourteen,I was really touched by the realism of the presentation and reading about the AIDS victims,specially the plight of sex-workers in India was not surprising but actually shameful and shocking
The three groups most vulnerable to these diseases are the sexworkers,trans-sexuals (hijras) and homosexuals.
The common factor for all of them is unprotected sex with multiple partners and the root cause for this,is most cases is the society
Most of the commercial sex-workers are forced into flesh trade due to financial compulsions and are inducted into this at a stage or age when they cannot take a decision,and without consent. It is the onus of the parents,society,NGOs,social workers and the government to come forward to their rescue
Parents who cannot afford to bring up a female child due to poverty should try to find a job for them, after the age of 14.There is a great need of maids,domestic help and baby-sitters in the society today.This is a much better alternative for girls and women being forced to prostitution.They can look forward to a more dignified and respectable living in this situation.
Its tragic that the existence of the sexworkers cannot be eradicated,but we can all contribute in decreasing this menace and the plight,The government and all concerned should put in all endeavors to atleast minimize the number of sexworkers,improve their living standards,prevent their exploitation and to extend them adequate medical cover,Schemes for rehabilitation of sex-workers is mandatory,too
The hijras too,resort to sex for a livelihood,and hence all efforts should be made to provide them opportunities for jobs or self employment.A reservation in job vacancies for trans-sexuals may be a highly beneficial move,to provide them with job opportunities
Most of the homosexuals indulge in sex with multiple partners usually out of desperation,as the family,society and the Government denies them the choice for a long term relationship,leave alone marriage.Acceptance by society and relaxation of laws for encouraging this,are the need of the hour to increase the practice of monogamy in homosexuals
We should not forget that AIDS patients are the main source of the spreading epidemic of AIDS and hence helping them is actually helping the society and the mankind in general.I just hope that the cries of AIDS victims and the plight of those prone to be affected by this deadly disease,echoes through this book to shatter the deafness of the government and to break the slumber of the society to fight this killer demon of AIDS!
Dr Sanjay Kapoor Lucknow
GAY MOVEMENT IN INDIA
Long way to go !!!!!!!!!!!
Its a bit too early to celebrate the cause of gays and lesbians in attaining an identity in India.
The recent Gay Parade held at Mumbai,in quick succession after the successful one held at Delhi sometime back,was successful too,but not as it was expected
It had more of fanfare than the cause,and this is the fear for such events in future too.
The cause of creating an awareness about the rights of gays,should not get diluted by the glamour show !
The battle should not become more important than the goal !!
The Gay parade should not become carnivals and above all the darkness around the gays should not get overshadowed by the presence of glitterati!!!!
The biggest surprise is to see that Homosexuals(gays) and transsexuals(Hijras) are clubbed together as MSM(men having sex with men) but the fact is that these two are two separate groups and have different problems.While the homosexuals need just an identity to their sexuality,the transsexuals needs an identity to their every existence!
Hijras are physically and anatomically different,and have no alternative but to have sex with men,and most get into the flesh trade,out of desperation,to earn a living.Their problem is an identity and they have to be brought to the main stream line,with opportunities for education and jobs and above all inclusion in the society as common citizen,with ration cards,voters identity etc.Its high time the application forms for everything ,has three squares under the sex column,M/F/T
The homosexuals on the other hand are fightening for an identity and acceptance of their sexuality,but the sexuality of a person cannot be his only identity.Gays are present everywhere,be it Delhi,Kolkuta,Mumbai or any place of the country,and are found in all strata of the society somewhere hidden and somewhere exposed.Homosexuals are seen in all spheres of life now,in colleges and at work,and many of them are doing very well in their fields of work,and are recognized well,nationally and even internationally.What they are fighting for,is the law to accept their sexuality as legal.
In spite of the recent encouraging remarks towards this,from the health minister,this may be a distant dream,and actually it is not the first but the last step in the battle of gays for their struggle for a receptacle existence
The aim should not just be of unmasking the sexuality,but to achieve acceptance.
The violent reactions to gay movements and activities ,may have decreased or even ceased but these are no indicators to their social acceptance.
It is the families and society which has to accept them.They have to realize that these are just variants of sexuality,and not perversions ,and in majority of cases ,the attitude is genetically decided,and is well beyond the control of the individual.
and above all it is the gays who have to accept themselves,and come forward to live their lives at their terms,as any other responsible citizen of the country,rather than making their sexuality as their identity and the main bone of contention
S Kapoor Lucknow
Its a bit too early to celebrate the cause of gays and lesbians in attaining an identity in India.
The recent Gay Parade held at Mumbai,in quick succession after the successful one held at Delhi sometime back,was successful too,but not as it was expected
It had more of fanfare than the cause,and this is the fear for such events in future too.
The cause of creating an awareness about the rights of gays,should not get diluted by the glamour show !
The battle should not become more important than the goal !!
The Gay parade should not become carnivals and above all the darkness around the gays should not get overshadowed by the presence of glitterati!!!!
The biggest surprise is to see that Homosexuals(gays) and transsexuals(Hijras) are clubbed together as MSM(men having sex with men) but the fact is that these two are two separate groups and have different problems.While the homosexuals need just an identity to their sexuality,the transsexuals needs an identity to their every existence!
Hijras are physically and anatomically different,and have no alternative but to have sex with men,and most get into the flesh trade,out of desperation,to earn a living.Their problem is an identity and they have to be brought to the main stream line,with opportunities for education and jobs and above all inclusion in the society as common citizen,with ration cards,voters identity etc.Its high time the application forms for everything ,has three squares under the sex column,M/F/T
The homosexuals on the other hand are fightening for an identity and acceptance of their sexuality,but the sexuality of a person cannot be his only identity.Gays are present everywhere,be it Delhi,Kolkuta,Mumbai or any place of the country,and are found in all strata of the society somewhere hidden and somewhere exposed.Homosexuals are seen in all spheres of life now,in colleges and at work,and many of them are doing very well in their fields of work,and are recognized well,nationally and even internationally.What they are fighting for,is the law to accept their sexuality as legal.
In spite of the recent encouraging remarks towards this,from the health minister,this may be a distant dream,and actually it is not the first but the last step in the battle of gays for their struggle for a receptacle existence
The aim should not just be of unmasking the sexuality,but to achieve acceptance.
The violent reactions to gay movements and activities ,may have decreased or even ceased but these are no indicators to their social acceptance.
It is the families and society which has to accept them.They have to realize that these are just variants of sexuality,and not perversions ,and in majority of cases ,the attitude is genetically decided,and is well beyond the control of the individual.
and above all it is the gays who have to accept themselves,and come forward to live their lives at their terms,as any other responsible citizen of the country,rather than making their sexuality as their identity and the main bone of contention
S Kapoor Lucknow
SHOULD WE LET KASHMIR GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR GOD'S SAKE SPARE THE GOD!!!!!!!!
The Amarnath shrine land issue,is unnecessarily being blamed as the bone of contention,between the Hindus and Muslims of the valley or rather between Kashmir and India!The shrine is just being made a scapegoat by the Kashmiri Muslims to went their undying desire of freedom from India!! This is probably the last nail in the coffin of relationship between,India and Kashmir,and this very statement sounds as if Kashmir is not a part of the country. The issue however,is nether the land,nor the Hindu shrine,but AZADI !
And this azadi is,less as a freedom from the so called step treatment of unfair India,but more of an overambitious desire to live independently.The root cause of this cannot be identified or pin pointed,as there are three processes working simultaneously towards a so called similar goal.Firstly the Pakistani forces,which are still thirsty for the revenge of partition and want to acquire Kashmir back.Secondly Pakistan again trying to break Kashmir away from India,as a revenge of Indias role in the independence of Bangladesh,and thirdly the struggle of Kashmiris who want to be azad from India.
These two agencies are working hand and glove.The local population may be helping the outside terrorists in their attacks,and the outsiders are be sustaining the struggle for kashmiris in their battle of independence.But,surprisingly the goals are different,Pakistan may have the distant dream of taking kashmir,but most of kashmir has the determinant desire of being independent,and may be even acquire back the POK,and such sleeping with the enemy situations are eventually self destructive and fatal!!!!!!!!!!!!.
While Kashmiris,considering themselves Indians may be counted on finger tips,the number keen to attain Pakistani citizenship,is not bigger either.Majority of the Kashmiri is just a Kashmiri at heart
The normal life of a civil war or local insurgency is usually a decade,but in Kashmir the fire is alive since almost two decades.It was 18th Nov 1989,when the insurgency started in Kashmir,and since then the snow clad mountains of the most beautiful land of the world,have been painted red by the blood of innumerable people,mostly innocent and including a large number of woman and children.The Khalistan movement was as bad and strong,if not worse,but died its natural death,since the masses were not with the agitators,but here it is a movement of the complete Kashmir
Having spent almost four years,in the valley,in the thick of insurgency,treating the casualties,I have had the opportunity to interact with the Pakistani terrorist,foreign missionaries,local agitators and the common kashmiri,The Pakistani terrorist is in a trance in the name of Jihad,the missionaries are on a payrole,the local kashmiri militant a freedom fighter and the common man just fed up.
But it is this fed up common man,who is playing the strongest silent role in keeping this battle alive.The common man neither wants India to win,nor Pakistan to succeed,but wants a free Kashmir
The threat to become part of Pakistan and the march to Muzzafarabad are just kiddish acts,as in school we would often exchange tiffins with our best friends enemy,just to tease him,when we were not on good terms,temporarily or permanently.And the green flags are again no indicators of love for our dear neighbor,but the show of Islam against Hinduism(read Kashmir against India)
What has been the cause for this,one cannot say.Weather it is the mistake of partition,the poor governance of center,the support of Pakistan,the demographic barrier,the exploitation of the poor Muslim craftsmen by the rich Kashmiri pundits,the will of separatists or the over confidence of belief in to be able to survive independently. The geographical bottle neck of Jawahar Tunnel has proved to be a great culprit,preventing the Kashmiris to mingle with the rest of India.Kashmiris generally form the least number of friends , neighbors and collogues we can think of,compared to those from any other state,and may be even from Nepal or foreign countries.This scenario has isolated the Kashmiri, physically and emotionally forcing him to think of only AZAD KASHMIR!
And this too,when Kashmir in spite of all allegations,still is one of the most and the only privileged state,where,with the support of the central and state government,there are no beggars,no one without a house,no house without electricity and even subsidized electricity and food.
Letting Kashmir go,besides being painful emotionally,would mean loss of tourist destinations and fruit orchards,but the later are available at other states too.It may give impetus to freedom struggle of the eastern states and may re kindle the fire of Khalistan movement,but all these may be handled.but to keep the bodies of people by force under the tricolor ,when their heart,mind and soul is yearning for freedom,or is already free,would not only be difficult,but even impossible and may be unfair ! So we should just let Kashmir go! Free it from India,and lets give it a chance to fly and feed and fend for itself,if it can,without India,whose years of support has failed to win their hearts,or of Pakistan which cannot sustain itself !!
I say this with a heavy heart,just as I often take the hated decision,as a surgeon,of amputing a dead or dying part of the body of my patient,where the cruel kindness of my knife may save a life,by sacrificing a limb
Dr Sanjay Kapoor lucknow
The Amarnath shrine land issue,is unnecessarily being blamed as the bone of contention,between the Hindus and Muslims of the valley or rather between Kashmir and India!The shrine is just being made a scapegoat by the Kashmiri Muslims to went their undying desire of freedom from India!! This is probably the last nail in the coffin of relationship between,India and Kashmir,and this very statement sounds as if Kashmir is not a part of the country. The issue however,is nether the land,nor the Hindu shrine,but AZADI !
And this azadi is,less as a freedom from the so called step treatment of unfair India,but more of an overambitious desire to live independently.The root cause of this cannot be identified or pin pointed,as there are three processes working simultaneously towards a so called similar goal.Firstly the Pakistani forces,which are still thirsty for the revenge of partition and want to acquire Kashmir back.Secondly Pakistan again trying to break Kashmir away from India,as a revenge of Indias role in the independence of Bangladesh,and thirdly the struggle of Kashmiris who want to be azad from India.
These two agencies are working hand and glove.The local population may be helping the outside terrorists in their attacks,and the outsiders are be sustaining the struggle for kashmiris in their battle of independence.But,surprisingly the goals are different,Pakistan may have the distant dream of taking kashmir,but most of kashmir has the determinant desire of being independent,and may be even acquire back the POK,and such sleeping with the enemy situations are eventually self destructive and fatal!!!!!!!!!!!!.
While Kashmiris,considering themselves Indians may be counted on finger tips,the number keen to attain Pakistani citizenship,is not bigger either.Majority of the Kashmiri is just a Kashmiri at heart
The normal life of a civil war or local insurgency is usually a decade,but in Kashmir the fire is alive since almost two decades.It was 18th Nov 1989,when the insurgency started in Kashmir,and since then the snow clad mountains of the most beautiful land of the world,have been painted red by the blood of innumerable people,mostly innocent and including a large number of woman and children.The Khalistan movement was as bad and strong,if not worse,but died its natural death,since the masses were not with the agitators,but here it is a movement of the complete Kashmir
Having spent almost four years,in the valley,in the thick of insurgency,treating the casualties,I have had the opportunity to interact with the Pakistani terrorist,foreign missionaries,local agitators and the common kashmiri,The Pakistani terrorist is in a trance in the name of Jihad,the missionaries are on a payrole,the local kashmiri militant a freedom fighter and the common man just fed up.
But it is this fed up common man,who is playing the strongest silent role in keeping this battle alive.The common man neither wants India to win,nor Pakistan to succeed,but wants a free Kashmir
The threat to become part of Pakistan and the march to Muzzafarabad are just kiddish acts,as in school we would often exchange tiffins with our best friends enemy,just to tease him,when we were not on good terms,temporarily or permanently.And the green flags are again no indicators of love for our dear neighbor,but the show of Islam against Hinduism(read Kashmir against India)
What has been the cause for this,one cannot say.Weather it is the mistake of partition,the poor governance of center,the support of Pakistan,the demographic barrier,the exploitation of the poor Muslim craftsmen by the rich Kashmiri pundits,the will of separatists or the over confidence of belief in to be able to survive independently. The geographical bottle neck of Jawahar Tunnel has proved to be a great culprit,preventing the Kashmiris to mingle with the rest of India.Kashmiris generally form the least number of friends , neighbors and collogues we can think of,compared to those from any other state,and may be even from Nepal or foreign countries.This scenario has isolated the Kashmiri, physically and emotionally forcing him to think of only AZAD KASHMIR!
And this too,when Kashmir in spite of all allegations,still is one of the most and the only privileged state,where,with the support of the central and state government,there are no beggars,no one without a house,no house without electricity and even subsidized electricity and food.
Letting Kashmir go,besides being painful emotionally,would mean loss of tourist destinations and fruit orchards,but the later are available at other states too.It may give impetus to freedom struggle of the eastern states and may re kindle the fire of Khalistan movement,but all these may be handled.but to keep the bodies of people by force under the tricolor ,when their heart,mind and soul is yearning for freedom,or is already free,would not only be difficult,but even impossible and may be unfair ! So we should just let Kashmir go! Free it from India,and lets give it a chance to fly and feed and fend for itself,if it can,without India,whose years of support has failed to win their hearts,or of Pakistan which cannot sustain itself !!
I say this with a heavy heart,just as I often take the hated decision,as a surgeon,of amputing a dead or dying part of the body of my patient,where the cruel kindness of my knife may save a life,by sacrificing a limb
Dr Sanjay Kapoor lucknow
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